


Broken Things

by ODeorainFan2150



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Emotional Roller Coaster, F/F, Flashbacks, Gen, Mental Health Issues, Past Relationship(s), Prosthesis, Slow Burn, Swearing, mention of suicidal thoughts, past trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-26
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-08-29 12:30:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 32,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16744024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ODeorainFan2150/pseuds/ODeorainFan2150
Summary: The board of the Foundation are pleased to agree to the continuation of the development of the Rapid Healing System (lead researcher: Dr Moira O'Deorain) pending the following modifications are made to the project.1. A focus is made to bring the project to market rapidly and with deployment solutions already developed2. A second researcher is to be employed to focus on modification 1--A Moicy story set in a Modern AU, where two broken people find each other.Moicy focus, other relationships are background





	1. Proposal

**Author's Note:**

> Here we go.

The morning started for Moira O’Deorain with three sensations she didn’t usually expect.

The first was the bright sunlight streaming in through the window. Her sleeping time was limited, juggling the role of mentoring students and continuing her own research fueled mostly by endless cups of coffee. But she always tried to wake up early and fit in a run before heading to the lab, even on the weekend. Therefore still being in bed, resting under the silvery sheets while the sun was high in the sky, was something new.

The second was a pounding headache, the mental jackhammer she thought she had seen the last of when she achieved her doctorate. Although painful, the source of this was obvious. She could remember an evening of drinks at the local pub, a celebration of a job well done. With some pride, she could vaguely remember drinking someone almost literally under the table, although she couldn’t quite picture who it was. Definitely someone bigger than her - she could remember leaning heavily on him after the last shot, his booming laughter as he lay on his side having slid from his chair.

The final one was the feeling of a wet nose nudging her cheek. Blearily, she opened her eyes to see a soft brown and black snout gently pressing against her from the edge of the bed. As she focused she could see the rest of the face, those dark eyes among soft brown fur, the ears pointing straight up into the air. She could feel his hot, wet breath on her skin.

Slowly, she stretched out a hand to gently pat the dog’s head, letting the sensation return to her arm after having slept on it.

“Hey, Bas.” She ran her fingers over his forehead, watching as he reacted. “Don’t worry I’m okay. Ma just had a little too much fun last night”

Suddenly, there was a click from the doorway, the sound of a camera phone snapping a picture. A chuckle followed.

“Aww. It's cute how you talk to him when no one is watching”

Step, step, step and suddenly there was a weight on the bed beside her. A phone screen waved in front of her face, the brightness just slightly too much for her at the moment. She blinked, trying to focus on what she was being shown.

“Such a lovely photo don’t you think?”

To say Moira disliked having photos taken of her was putting it lightly. But this photo was truly something vile in her mind. Her usually slicked back hair was a mess, the scattering of freckles across her face obvious without the usual swipe of makeup to cover them. Black bags filled the gaps under her mismatched eyes, softness on her usually sharp features.

She groaned, batting the phone away as she rolled over “Olivia, please tell me this isn’t some sort of revenge for something I did last night.”

Olivia laughed, the action causing her long hair to bounce slightly over the shaved side of her head “Oh amiga, you did just fine, nothing too bad. Unless you count breaking open the schnapps after calling it ‘a drink for children’ a bad idea”

Moira ran her tongue over her teeth. There was the faintest hint of fruit in her mouth, a sure sign of just how much of the pungent liquid she had drunk. She groaned again, longer and louder this time, causing Bas to tilt his head in confusion.

Olivia moved closer, resting her elbow on the bed. “Don’t worry, Reinhardt owes you £20 seeing as he fell off his chair first. And with Ana having watched that competition, you know he is going to come through”

There was another sound of complaint from Moira as she placed her hand over her face, trying to guard her eyes against the light “I’m not sure this feeling in my brain is going to be cured with £20 of anything ‘Liv”

Moira froze, her hand still covering her eyes. The slowing effect of sleep was starting to wear off, and with a clang, her brain suddenly clicked over. Olivia was fully dressed, the purple hoodie she seemed to live in stretching over her leggings. This was unusual for a Saturday morning. Concern started to flood her veins as she turned to face her flatmate.

“What time is it”

Olivia just grinned “About 12:30. Someone had a lie in.”

Panic now took over Moira’s brain. How had it got so late? Normally her phone would have been reminding her of her day’s work via her calendar, her notification ping like a metronome to her life, even on a Saturday. Especially on a day when she had meetings with her students. Especially when it was these students in particular.

She stared into Olivia’s face, watching that grin slowly become a full smile. Of course, Olivia would enjoy this. The sight of the usually calm and collected doctor losing control always bought amusement to her.

Moira began to move, shuffling herself under the covers “Shit SHit SHIT, I’m going to be so late. Yuna is going to be insufferable, especially after I told her off for last week’s four-hour delay. I've got to get dressed, and get my stuff and...”

She started to rise but Olivia placed a firm hand on each shoulder and pushed her back down onto the bed.

“You’ve got to do precisely nothing today. As I was going to say before you so rudely interrupted, Someone had a lie in because their boss told them to”

Moira stopped still, lying on her back and looking up at Olivia.

“What?”

“When I was pulling you out of the bar last night, just after the tie went around your head but before you started singing, Ana pulled me over and gave me a care list for you. Make sure you drank some water, put you into bed properly and cancel/rearrange all calendar appointments for today.”

The grin returned.

“It’s almost like your boss wants you in top shape for something. Maybe some sort of project that you have been slaving over for the last few years to get ready for the big leagues, hmm?”

Moira looked up at the ceiling. That’s why they had gone out last night. The grant. Her rapid healing system had got the grant. True, Ana still had to run over the specifics with her but the money was now in the budget and finally, she could just focus on making it real. All the years of planning, the late nights and presentations were all one step closer to having been worthwhile. She could have almost laughed to herself.

Instead, she looked back at her roommate “So what’s the damage then? What does my Saturday look like now after you monkeyed with it, my secretary”

Olivia raised an eyebrow sceptically “You’d have to pay me before I’d be your secretary M. Rectangular glasses and short skirts do not come cheap” There was a pause “I should know, I looked”

The thrown pillow was the response of choice here, Moira not wanting to risk another comment being turned into a bad joke. Olivia battered it away, snorting slightly.

“Okay, okay. Yuna is happy to wait a week before her next meeting but did pass over a draft of her work for you to give feedback on. Akande understood and sends his best wishes about the news. And Lena, being Lena, said she is picking up an extra shift thanks to your change of plans so you should probably come and get a coffee and pastry at the shop once you’re awake as congratulations. Oh and Ana wants you to go visit her on Sunday for lunch to talk about the fine details of the project”

Olivia leant forward and, with a flourish, pulled the covers off the bed leaving Moira to feel the cold air on her skin, protected only by her underwear. “Now Dr O’Drinklover. Get yourself a shower, throw on your warm clothes and let's go take Bas for a walk before he decides to chew on something important.”

Moira frowned “You’re coming with me? Not like you to leave the house voluntarily on a Saturday.”

A look crossed Olivia’s face. Moira considered it - was she being bashful? “Yeah, well, our favourite cyborg left his new arm here and I should probably give it back to him at some point”

Now it was Moira who raised the eyebrow “An arm seems like a serious thing to leave behind. Or was it borrowed to lure him back with an innocent ‘oh you left something at mine’?” Moira laughed “Honestly Olivia, stop dragging the boy along and just ask him out if you like him so much.”

Olivia laughed sarcastically

“Har har very funny. Now hurry up before someone decides to send out that picture of Sleeping Beauty to the faculty list.”

She leant down and patted the top of Bas’s head, eliciting a loll of his tongue as he looked up at her.

“Although I’ll admit, he is a rather cute Prince Philip”

\---

Pulling her coat around her, Olivia pushed through the crowd, struggling to keep up with her roommate's longer stride.

“You know, when most people are fighting a hangover on the weekend, they don’t normally dress up like they are going to the office.”

Moira ignored her, focusing on keeping Bas to heel, slightly fighting against him on the leash. He was normally perfectly obedient, but every so often he’d be distracted by something. Maybe another dog across the street or a glimpse of something and she’d see him start to wander, interested.

But Olivia was right - Moira was well aware most people didn’t wear suit trousers and a waistcoat under their outdoor jacket on the Saturday lunch coffee run. Most people probably wouldn’t have done their usual beauty routine, slicking back their hair, managing their thin eyebrows and obscuring their freckles as if it was any other day. Moira, however, liked the structure to her day. More importantly, she liked the look. It helped to draw wandering eyes away from other things.

Within a few minutes, they were at the door to their coffee shop of choice, a comforting gem behind the peeling paintwork on the outside. Inside, it looked busy, with plenty of people coming and going, the hum of constant chatter billowing out of the warmth whenever the door was opened. And, as expected, a figure was waiting for them outside.

He was slim, green spiked hair over a plain white hoodie and long baggy shorts. The cool autumn day did not seem to bother him, helped perhaps by his exposed legs being comprised of carbon fibre and metal. Getting closer, Moira’s eye was quickly drawn to the design on the front, the black surface decorated with a pair of green dragons etched into each. A grin lit up his face as he saw them, turning to watch them as he swung his rucksack onto his back.

“Ah, you’re both here. How are you today, Dr O'Deorain?” He held out his hand to her, white plastic and shining metal gleaming in the sunlight.

She smiled in reply “Good. And please Genji, you're in my flat more often than I am some weeks. Call me Moira”

She gripped his hand and shook it. With a pop, and to her horror, it came away, followed by a metallic arm that snaked its way up into his sleeve, leaving her holding the prosthetic in her hand.

For what seemed like an eternity, Genji held a shocked look on his face, those eyes moving from the arm to her terrified expression. And then his grin returned, cutting through the stillness of the situation. “I’m sorry Doctor, I couldn’t help myself”

Slightly relieved at his reaction, Moira could almost hear Olivia rolling her eyes as she stepped past her, landing a fist solidly on Genji’s shoulder.

“He does that to everyone at least once.”

Genji turned to her, lifting her hand and kissing it gently “Except you. I’ll be pranking you with detaching body parts until you get bored and weld them into me”

“Don’t tempt me” Olivia fixed him with a glare

He smiled “Ah but then you'd be the one to have to explain to Professor Amari why she lost her best prosthetics tester.”

“But I would have shut you up at least.”

Leaving the pair to bicker, Moira sighed and finished tying up Bas to one of the outdoor tables. She paused as she reached for the door, looking back behind her “Are you two getting anything or just wanting to throw barbs at each other out here?”

Olivia flicked back her hair. “Well seeing as _Idiota_ here has actually managed to detach his arm entirely, I want to check his fitting before we put the new one on. We're going to head to the labs and grab my kit, so catch you later? Say hi to Lena for us!”

After watching the two of then leave, still arguing as they walked side by side, Moira entered the coffee shop. The warm air of the interior washed over her as she made her way to the counter, the strong smell of good recently made coffee filling her nostrils. Lena wasn’t serving but she could still see the plume of brown spikes bouncing around in the back, hear the cheery voice ringing through the chatter as she responded to orders. After selecting her usual coffee (strong black, no sugar) and telling the rather emotionless woman behind the counter her table, Moira returned outside.

Sitting down at the table, and giving Bas a reassuring stroke, she reached into her leather satchel and pulled out a slim novel from between the papers and notebooks within. Placing it back on the table, she closed her eyes and just enjoyed the feeling of being out in the fresh air, the crispness of the last bit of warmth from the summer still hanging on. With one hand gently patting Bas's head, she turned the page and began to read.

\--

“Coffee for drainpipe”

Sighing, Moira looked up from her book as the server placed a cup in front of her.

“Must you?”

The grin above her widened “Honestly, I think the nickname is fitting and funny. So yes, I must. But more importantly, pastry for drainpipe”

A fresh croissant was placed on the table, a small pot of homemade lemon curd next to it. Moira liked to keep her vices under control but this was something she hadn’t had in awhile, a treat she saved for special occasions. She almost licked her lips in anticipation, already tasting the sweet yet bitter topping mixed with the buttery pastry.

Next to her, the server went into her apron's pocket, pulling out a doggy treat. Bas's eyes suddenly shot upwards, following her hands as she waved it through the air. With a laugh, she knelt down, letting the dog munch it off her hand, his tongue cleaning up the crumbs.

“There. Order done, both customers served, so time for my break”

Lena removed her apron and flopped into her seat opposite Moira, wrapping her fingers around the cup of tea she had brought with her.

Moira finished her bite of croissant, lightly dabbing the corner of her mouth with a napkin as she started to speak. “So. Lena. Dr Winston passed over the details of your last few assignments. Seems like he’s happy with your results so far, only a few bits of advice on what to improve. Your other modules are going well, good marks all round. Based on your tutor's feedback, it seems like you’re starting your third year well.”

Lena nodded a happy smile on her face at hearing these compliments from her tutor, her bright eyes attentively watching her. Moira had always liked working with the girl ever since she had first been assigned to her as part of the pre-university induction process for new students from less financially well off backgrounds. But now, three years into a four years masters, Lena was doing wonderfully both as a student but also outside of the classroom.

Moira leant back in her chair “But enough about school work. How are other things? Did you hear back about that exhibition pitch you mentioned last time?”

Lena lit up “They loved it! I have one panel of the installation that’s just for me. Going to be tight, fitting it in around the assignments but you know me, I’ll get it done. Here, this is the first sketch of my section.”

Moira took it Lena's phone from her, looking in delight at the artwork it was showing. A stylised jet plane, blue and white, the words “Slipstream” written underneath in giant letters.

She caught the girl’s eye, spotting the look of expectation in it “That’s looking rather good already, I can't wait to see it on the wall”

Lena beamed “That makes two of us.”

They chatted idly for a bit until Moira noticed that Lena had slowed slightly. She scratched the plastic surface of the table with her fingernail, obviously thinking about her next few words.

“Not to overstep our boundaries Dr O’Deorain but how are you doing? It’s coming up on two years since your ... accident.”

Moira swallowed. Of course. She knew that anniversary was coming soon. But it was something she’d try to put to the back of her mind, ignore it as much as possible. Even so, she felt herself running a finger down the seam on her glove, suddenly conscious of the black material pressing against her sleeve.

She coughed “I’m amazed you remembered it”

Lena responded with a shrug “Well social media has a way of telling you. And honestly, I’m not going to forget having Professor Amari, head of faculty, talking to me, a first year, every week about small things like settling in and making friends. It was a little surreal while you were away.”

Moira smiled, imagining how many of those meetings would have gone. Immovable rock meeting unstoppable force was one way of thinking about it.

“I’m fine Lena. But thank you for asking. Work has helped, especially the news yesterday, and living with someone else has made things easier“ She paused “And of course the weekly coffee meetings with you might have had an effect”

Lena’s grin returned “Aww.”

\--

If there was one thing Bas loved, it was getting to the entrance to the park. Because Bas knew once he was through those gates, nothing was going to stop him running around until he wore himself out. Not wind, nor rain nor hail. This was his time to shine. He pulled at the lead as he got closer, slightly whining as he eagerly awaited the moment he’d be let loose. With a click, he was off.

Moira sighed as she watched him go. In contrast, she hated the park. There were too many memories here, too many feelings it brought back - a picnic in summer, her hand clenched in his. Feeling him gripping her around the waist through her thick coat as they slid across the icy path, laughing as they tried not to fall. The whisper in her ear as they strolled through the dark night, a comfort beside her. She shook it off, returning instead to the present.

Suddenly, she realised her companion was out of sight. Panic immediately returned to her. She’d never wanted a dog until he’d appeared in her life but the idea of not having Bas beside her wasn’t one she wanted to entertain. Especially not right now.

“Bas? BAS!” Moira cried into the darkness. Suddenly a bark echoed from off to her left, somewhere deep inside the maze of hedges. She set off running, listening for the sound of the dog as it continued to bark.

As she got closer, moving along the walls of greenery, she heard another voice between the outbursts. It was light, mixed in with laughter. It seemed to be speaking German to him, almost responding to the barks with carefree phrases like it was a conversation. And that laughter, oh. It sounded like music.

Moira rounded the corner to see Bas pacing back and forth in front of a woman who was leaning down to him, letting him smell her.

She looked up as Moira got nearer, a smile on her face.

“Oh sorry, is he yours? I was just on the phone and he came bounding over”

Moira nodded

The woman looked back down at him before speaking, her hand gently stroking his fur “He's beautiful.  Malinois, right?” she stopped. “Let me try something”

“ _Sitz!_ ”

Bas stopped moving and sat, tail still wagging on the ground.

“ _Platz!_ ”

He now transitioned to laying down, his tongue hanging out of his mouth.

“ _Sprich!_ ”

A single bark.

The woman clapped her hands in delight before kneeling back down to fuss over him again.

Moira raised an eyebrow “Looks like I’ll have to get a phrasebook. I didn’t even realise he knew German”

The woman looked up briefly “It all depends on who trained him - could have also been French, Dutch or Czech. Were you not told when you got him?”

Moira thought back to her first day owning Bas by herself. A simple note left on the kitchen counter, the sound of a tail thumping on the hardwood floor as he watched her cry and drop to her knees, the feeling for the first time when he gently nuzzled her for comfort. She muttered a reply “It must have slipped his mind”

The blonde smiled again “It’s been so long since I’ve actually had a chance to interact with one of these guys. What’s his name?”

“Bastion”

The woman smiled, looking back to the dog.

“Bastion… _Guter Junge, Bastion, guter Junge._ ”

Bas wagged his tail, moving forward to try and lick the face of the blonde currently tending to him, getting nothing but giggles in reply.

Moira wasn't looking at the dog. Instead, she was studying the figure fussing over him. SHe was shorter than Moira, although that was common to most people but well built, obviously some form of athlete at some point. Her clothing was outdoorsy, practical, strong walking boots and with grey socks visible over her jeans. Her jacket was tan, some sort of tactical softshell with the velcro sections on the sleeves. One of them had a PVC patch in place, the design cut in half with a Swiss flag on one side, German on the other. Her blonde hair was pulled back into a practical ponytail, held together by nothing more decorative than a blue rubber band. Her face though. That was enchanting, with those startling blue eyes that just seem to bore into her, that smile that lit up the world around her...

Moira realised she was staring. She blinked “I'm sorry, What were you saying?”

The woman looked slightly concerned “I said are you alright? It’s just, I need to go”

Moira nodded, recovering slightly “Yes I'm fine. Just spaced out there, sorry”

Finishing fussing with Bas, the woman stood up “Don’t worry! I was supposed to be cutting through here when your good boy came bounding out towards me. Looks like I’ll have to keep coming this way if he’s here. Anyway, have a good night!”

Moira watched her go, Bas returning to her side and nuzzling her gloved hand. Part of her wanted to race after the woman, at least learn her name before she was gone forever. Some part of her wanted more, to sit and talk and learn everything about the mysterious blonde. But the moment passed, her figure disappearing into the rapidly falling night. Instead, she hooked Bas onto the lead and headed for home.

When she went to sleep that night, her dreams were filled with laughter, a bright shining face beaming out at her. She’d never slept so well.

\--

Sunday for Moira dawned bright and early. After her usual routine, carefully slicking her hair back and working her glove onto her arm, she left Bas in Olivia and Genji's care she climbed into her car and headed out into the suburbs. The engine purred as she cut her way through traffic, enjoying the sensation of speed as she approached the village.

Ana’s house was in amongst a shady cul-de-sac, far enough back from the road to almost feel like you were out in the depths of the woods. It wasn’t huge but it was definitely on the nicer side of what was available nearby, large windows filling the place with light. Moira had been there several times before, mainly for work social events that Ana chose to host there. She always said she liked to treat her staff more as family than employees.

After parking and walking up the driveway, passing the piles of leaves neatly arranged on the edges, Moira knocked on the door. In a few seconds, a great shadow appeared on the other side of the glass, moving forward to fill the space before it opened. Reinhardt, Ana’s husband, greeted her on the doorstep, pulling her into a bear hug as he lifted her almost off her feet.

His voice seemed to boom around her, strong German accent unaffected by age “So good to see you Doktor, I am glad our little challenge on Friday didn’t end too poorly for either of us”

Moira laughed “Speak for yourself, I woke up at midday on Saturday still tasting the stuff. Although I am happy you aren't still in the doghouse.”

He grinned under his grey beard, a sense of mischief in his eye “Who says I'm not.”

Moira looked down, noticing his broad chest for the first time. Across a fraction of it was a floral apron, ‘Kiss the Chef” embroidered into it in pink thread, held in place by the shortness of the head loop alone. She had obviously raised an eyebrow, seeing as Reinhardt shrugged before stepping aside.

“I look truly ridiculous. Anyway, come in, come in. Ana’s just in the conservatory doing her meditation. Lunch should be ready soon, once I wrestle it out of the oven. I hope you’re okay with roast beef”. He shuffled off back to the kitchen, humming a little tune to himself, leaving Moira in the hallway as she hung up her coat and took off her shoes.

Ana was a fan of collecting memories. The walls around the hallway were covered in photos and posters, all beautifully framed and arranged. Even their layout was art in itself, carefully planned to a level that would cause jealousy in a museum creator. Moira had studied them several times when she’d come over before including one faculty mixer where Ana had ended up taking her through the collection personally, somewhat amused at the Irish woman’s interest in them.

Some were just landscapes, night scenes over Cairo and misty pictures of the Swedish islands. Moira liked that there was even a picture of the familiar mountains of County Wicklow, a very different view from that of the German Alps that hung next to it.

Some were from Ana's time in the military. Large groups of people in uniform standing formally mixed in with more personal pairs and trios. Most of these seemed candid, soldiers off duty rather than posing for a shot. One in pride of place showed a very young looking Reinhardt kissing Ana on the cheek, a sprig of mistletoe over the pair. Her heart jumped slightly as her eyes scanned over another trio, recognising one of the men standing with Ana, their faces all smeared with black camo paint. She turned away quickly, not wanting to bring up that set of memories. Not today.

But most were photos of Ana’s daughter, Fareeha. They started off with her small, a little girl with pitch black hair and golden beads dangling from them, intense brown eyes poking between the gaps. She grew and broadened out when she hit puberty, the high school section of the wall filled with basketball and football teams, always with Fareeha in the front row.

Then these too became tinted with tan, Fareeha donning the maroon beret of her adopted home. More pictures, matching her mother’s collection, the formal groups and the more relaxed photos of her palling around with other soldiers, the tattoo under her eye suddenly appearing halfway down one column, just as it had with her mother. And then, the photos changed.

The happiness seemed to disappear from Fareeha as quickly as the camo did. More of the images seemed to obscure her left side, often with her looking away from the camera. It was only the more recent group where she seemed joyful again, the shine of metal on her left hand, usually painted a royal blue, details picked out in gold. The latest photo was by itself. Fareeha wearing motorcycle leathers, eyes obscured behind dark shades under a clear blue sky. She was laughing at something and Moira could almost hear the sound of her in her head.

A gentle hand pressing on her shoulder brought Moira out of her inspection. Turning, she regarded Ana, her boss and, over the last few years, mentor. Her white hair was covered, as usual, today’s scarf a blue and white. Age had only brought grace to her beauty, her eyes twinkling as she looked at the wall alongside her.

“You like the new one?” She turned to face it, gently resting a finger on the frame.  “Out somewhere near The Grand Canyon. She's finishing off a job in Las Vegas and then planning to be back in time for Christmas.”

She gestured to the dining room. “Come, let's eat”

\--

After enjoying an excellent lunch, and singing Reinhardt's praises as she helped clear the table, Moira followed Ana to her office. She always thought it was a lovely room, wood panels over any section of wall not covered in bookcases. Each shelf was lined with tomes, their titles showing the wide range of topics she had concerned herself with, everything from economics to anatomy. There was also the trophy case, filled with a host of awards for the Foundation's work as well as a blue beret sitting pride of place.

The pair of them sat on either side of the desk, Ana leaning back in her chair and studying Moira for a moment as she ran her finger around her tea cup.

“First of all congratulations again. The last two presentations really turned the tide, everyone on the board was happy to sign off on it once you presented your case.“

Moira nodded her head, accepting Ana’s congratulations “Thank you. Although I wonder what’s in the fine print that made you arrange a weekend meeting. Not that I don’t enjoy coming to see you, Ana”

An amused smile crossed Ana's face. “It’s fine, you don’t need to try and pretend you want to spend every Sunday here. Although I'm sure Reinhardt's cooking is always a nice treat.“

She opened the folder before sliding it across the desk for Moira to inspect, the top page thick with legalese. “They want to speed up the time to deployment. As part of this, they feel the project needs expanding to include another professional who can focus on methods for application”

Moira leaned forward in her seat “What? Ana, that’s madness, we need to find the safest way to make this work before we jump feet first into mass-market deployment. And bringing a second researcher on? It would take me months to bring them up to speed.”

With a hand raised in an attempt to calm the situation, Ana responded “I tried to argue with them but this was a sticking point. No funding unless there is a second researcher on the project.”

Moira stopped, thinking for a moment.

“This isn’t just about deployment is it?” she found herself nervously feeling the seam on her glove as she watched Ana, looking for a reaction “They want someone keeping an eye on me now that there is money on the line”

The tea cup was gently placed back into its saucer. “No, it's not that” Ana responded firmly.

She leaned forward “Moira, if that was the issue, I would have told you. I trust you enough to know we’ve learned from that bump in the road. Both of us”

As Moira nodded, accepting her point, Ana sat upright in her char, taking another sip of her tea before continuing.

“However, I did manage to argue a compromise. I got to pick the second researcher personally.”

“Anyone I would know?” Moira asked, her fingers tapping on her leg.

Ana shook her head “Unlikely. She is one of Reinhardt’s old military friends, just moved over from Switzerland after being medically discharged and looking for a way to put her doctorate to use. She should be more approachable and useful than some academic who's never had to use their findings in the field. Will definitely help make something that won’t get stuck in military trials hell”

Moira looked up at her “I’m guessing I don’t get a say in any of this?”

Ana smiled “No. Mainly because I know you’d find a way to delay their involvement through the bureaucracy. You’re always so quick to bypass it except when it’s useful to you. But Moira, no matter what her involvement is, this is your time to shine! Those years of work are finally about to get the visibility it deserves.”

The meeting concluded, Ana stood up and Moira followed her to the front door. As she finished putting her shoes on, Reinhardt reappeared from the kitchen to help her with her coat, as well as pushing a metal tin into her hands. “Ginger biscuits.” He explained, “I’m sure between you and Miss Colomar, the pair of you can finish them off while they are still good”.

He paused, his expression suddenly thoughtful “Although you might want to have a few before you get home, just in case your roommate decides she likes them too much. How she consumes so much while remaining so small...”

Moira turned to her boss, putting a hand out to shake but was instead engulfed in a hug. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Expect me in your lab mid-morning, after I’ve given your new partner the tour.” Ana smiled “You’re going to do great things together.”

Moira nodded, waving to the pair as she got back to the car and headed home to prepare for the new chapter of her work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Overboard for translation improvements


	2. Research

“And this is going to be your home for your time here, one of our three project dedicated research labs. Recently refurbished with top of the line equipment, as you can see. We also like to provide plenty of refreshments for our staff in the attached break area each workspace has.”

“That’s good to hear Professor, although I dread to think how much you spend on coffee”

Moira paused, her pen hovering over the pad, her eyes still focused on the diagram in front of her, and frowned. This new voice. It seemed familiar. The hint of an accent, it’s lightness. The first sounds of a laugh just waiting to be unleashed. Something triggered in Moira’s brain.

Her boss answered “Please, call me Ana - I like to save Professor for the students. Makes it easier to know how important the person shouting for me is. Also, I should warn you, try to avoid napping in the break room or else you’ll wake up and find me hovering over you telling you to go home.”

The laugh this comment unleashed confirmed it. Moira knew who was coming, who would soon be sat beside her. She could already feel the emotions that had appeared at the park returning. But she had to control it. This was work.

The voices were close now, and Moira swung in her chair to view the door as they entered, the seal disengaging with a hiss.

“And this is where you get off, the final stop on your tour - your new lab partner. Angela Ziegler, meet our lead medical researcher on the project, Moira O’Deorain.”

Under the lab coat, the clothes were almost the same as they had been at their first meeting - practical, comfortable. She carried a tan rucksack over her shoulders, her jacket strapped to the webbing with bungee cord. That blonde hair shining in the lights above, the rubber band still that shade of blue. Moira could have sighed in delight at the image before her.

Of course. Of course, it would be her. A chance encounter in a park, a moment missed. Of course, fate would play a joke like this. Moira could see the same thoughts running through Dr Ziegler’s head, her face still even as they shook hands stiffly.

Ana narrowed her eyes, her gaze moving slowly between the two of them.

“You two have met before.”

Moira nodded “Recently. She helped to reveal my dog’s previously unknown language skills to me”

Angela added, “He really is quite intelligent”

Ana laughed as she started to leave the room “In that case, I’ll leave the two of you to get reacquainted. Angela, any issues at all, just drop by.”

Her final words drifted in just as the door closed behind her. “Keep your eyes on your inboxes ladies, you’re both going to be very busy.”

Angela watched her go before turning back to look at Moira. Her face was serious, the smile that had danced around it before now gone. Now her mouth was a thin line.

“This is unexpected”

The taller doctor looked down at her, mirroring her stern look with one of her own, her hands resting behind her back. “Indeed. I wasn’t informed I had been assigned a research partner until yesterday.”

Angela paced the floor for a moment, Moira watching her warily, before bouncing her fist on the desk “Damn it, I asked Ana to give whoever I was working with some warning. Just to make sure I didn’t interrupt their flow and to let me get caught up on their work.”

She removed the bag from her back, holding the grab handle in one hand. “Still, what’s done is done, no point getting stuck on it. Where do you want me to set up?”

Part of Moira was screaming inside. Anywhere behind me, anywhere where I don’t have to constantly catch you out of the corner of my eye. Anywhere I can’t see that face, that smile, those eyes...

“Anywhere you want. My lab is yours”

Angela chose directly opposite her, only a thin half height partition to hide most of their desk from each other when they were seated.

As she drifted back to her chair and settled in, Moira watched as Angela started emptying her bag, carefully placing its contents on the surface of the desk. First out was a rugged laptop, bulkier than the sleek aluminium model sat on the stand in front of Moira. It looked well travelled, the plastic shell sandblasted and dented, the word ZIEGLER written in thick black marker on the lid. Next, a pad of A4 paper, corners folded and bulging with additional notes and post-its, almost as if they were trying to escape from the inside. Finally, a simple black pen case. She placed it carefully in front of her before clicking it open. Inside a fine pen lay on the felt interior, it’s cap decorated with three panels jutting out slightly. Once in her hands there was a snap, and the panels moved into position, the rubber tipped supports resting on her hand as she held it in place.

“So, “ Angela looked up, smiling for the first time since she had been introduced to Moira, “Let's begin”

\--

Reinhardt looked across the bar table at her, his good eye twinkling with delight in the dim light of the pub.

“So, how are you finding the fair Doktor Ziegler then?”

Moira finished her whiskey and placed the glass back down, thinking carefully. She knew Reinhardt recommended her new partner to Ana but she didn’t know how close the relationship was between the two of them. She choose her words diplomatically.

“Well, she’s incredibly intelligent...”

Reinhardt nodded.

“...hard working…”

Another nod.

“...motivated…”

A longer nod this time

“... a quick reader. She finished my recommended primers on the project in only a couple of days”

He smiled, a knowing look on his face.  “I can see a but coming, Doctor”

Moira sighed “She’s incredibly frustrating to work with. She questions and challenges every little decision and idea, always focused on making it viable for field use rather than just getting it working. We’re still trying to decide the basic application method and it feels like it’s been weeks”

This brought a belly laugh from across the table

“It will be fine Moira, you’re still getting used to working with each other. When she first came over in the officer exchange program she was a nightmare, always recommending changes, driving the surgical teams mad. But she was right.”  

Reinhardt took another drink “It’s also funny”

Moira looked up, catching Reinhardt's eye.

“What is?”

“She came round for Sunday lunch last week, even cooked a rosti to serve with it which was excellent. Moira, it was like nothing else I’ve had before. I know it’s just mostly grated potato but it was so delicious, just melting in your mouth, so good…”

Moira looked at him “Mr Wilhelm, you are drooling. Also slightly off topic.”

“Sorry. But the other thing was, she may have had a few things to say about you. Intelligent, hard working, motivated and unconventional. You two are more alike than you think.”

He leaned back in his chair, running one lined hand through his thick grey beard.

“Maybe you need something to break the ice. She has always loved Swiss chocolate, the good well-made stuff, and has been lamenting the lack of a supplier around here”

Moira frowned “Well that’s nonsense, I can think of two speciality places in town that always have good stock off the top of my head.”

The German smiled “That settles it. You should get her some. Purely so she can make sure it’s good enough before she buys more herself, of course”

Moira sighed before disappearing off to the bar to get the next round, leaving Reinhardt to shake his head and chuckle to himself.

Although, while she waited, she did double check what time the nearest chocolate shop opened the next day. Purely for academic reasons, she thought to herself.

\--

“So what’s on today’s lunch break watch list”

Moira pulled off her headphones and looked over the join in the desk between them.

“Pardon?”

Angela swallowed another mouthful from the freshly microwaved box of food in front of her, her fork already spearing a piece of broccoli ready for the next bite.

“You’re watching something over your lunch, I was just wondering what it is?” She paused “If you don’t mind me asking.”

Moira glanced back before spinning the screen around to show her. Two talking heads were gesturing over a screenshot from a game, coloured arrows appearing where they pointed. Occasionally the camera would cut back to one of the competitors, her jacket emblazoned with a grinning bunny logo as she shadow boxed standing backstage, occasionally smiling at the camera and winking.

“Yesterday’s Starcraft League matches, one of my student’s close friends is a competitor. I started watching just to understand her interests and why she was turning up late to morning tutoring sessions but now, I’m starting to get why people enjoy it. What about you?”

Angela swung her own monitor around while putting on a grave face.

“I present to you my dark shame, TV soaps about doctors”

Moira raised an eyebrow to her. Inside her brain, however, Moira had recognised the show. A guilty pleasure of her own, something she’d usually have watched wrapped up in bed, her laptop on the covers, headphones on as to avoid Olivia’s comments.

“Hey, sometimes you just need a little comedy” Angela responded, smiling.

Moira said nothing, returning to her box of leftover curry and the next match up in Korea. She could see Angela out of the corner of her eye though, shaking her head at something she’d just watched.

\--

Angela had returned from running some errands, a brief respite from the arguments of two professionals.

Moira cautiously watched her come in, her eyes following her carefully as she crossed the lab, placed her bag down and donned her lab coat. Suddenly the other doctor froze by her chair, those blue eyes finally spotting the small stack of chocolate bars sat on the desk, all wrapped in a purple ribbon and tied in a neat bow, a tag hanging off the side.

Angela looked up across the desk, one finger still pressing down on the ribbon, her eyes focusing on Moira. “Did you buy these? For me?”

Moira felt herself nod “Mr Wilhelm mentioned you were looking for some real Swiss chocolate. And I realised I hadn’t given you a proper ‘Welcome Aboard’. So I picked up two sample bars from each of the local chocolate speciality shops, as well as their cards, so you know what’s available in town”

Angela looked down at them and then back up at her, a small smile on her face.

“I don’t know what to say. Thank you!”

With some glee, she pulled away the wrapping on the first bar and brought it up to her nose to breath in the smell of it. There was a crack as she broke off a piece, followed by a contented sigh as she started to suck on it, letting the flavour fill her mouth. Moira heard the clunk-clunk of the drawer being opened and closed before Angela started on her tasks for the day, humming slightly as she fired up her laptop.

Moira returned to her work, a little smile on her own face.

  
  


\--

“This design won’t work”

Moira felt herself swallow an automatic snappy response. It was almost midnight, and this first physical prototype was taking far too long to develop.

“What’s wrong now?” she answered.

Angela picked up the mockup they had printed, rolling it around in her hand. “This safety seal. Most people using a single hand won’t have the grip strength to break it if they need to self-administer.”

Moira rubbed her forehead, biting back her anger. “It’s not supposed to be self-administered. Anyway, how do you know that?”

“Past experience. But I’ll prove it to you”

Moira watched as she pulled her rucksack onto the desk, swiftly opening the middle pouch. After a bit rummaging, she emerged holding a forearm strengthener. With a flick, she changed the setting, watching as the springs tightened themselves together.

Moira smirked, “What else do you have in that bag, a healing ray?”

Angela sighed. “Quiet. Now, pick a hand”

Moira’s answer was instant “I’ll use my left”, her eyes watching Angela for any sign of a reaction.

The exercise tool was placed in Moira’s left hand before Angela reached for her right wrist. Moira, however, pulled it out of the way, cradling it close to her chest.

“Your restraint of my other arm is not needed. I am perfectly capable of stopping myself using my other hand. It may surprise you but I still have some self-control.”

“Congratulations Doctor. But I want to simulate pressure on the other limb to get the right effect and mirror real-world conditions.” Angela smiled “Don’t worry, I’ll be careful”

“Make sure you are”

Slowly, Moira returned her arm to the table, letting Angela gently press it onto the surface. The sensation of someone touching her glove was strange and Moira paused for a moment. She held her breath in her throat, watching as Angela looked up at her face, a gentle smile on it.

“Try and close the tool”

Moira nodded and slowly started to apply force to the lever, her arm blazing with the effort. After a few minutes, it managed to lock with a satisfying click.

Angela let her go, taking her equipment back and returning it to her bag.

Shaking her arm, Moira started the conversation again. “I see your point. Well, what do you suggest? We need something to prevent the two parts mixing before use.”

Angela frowned “Why is that so important? We store it in a single part here.”

“Because if the container itself was to break, then the person holding it will suddenly be covered in unfiltered and unstable biotic gel“ Moira watched her for a reaction “which would be incredibly bad for all concerned”

“Can’t you make it safe?” Angela asked, sitting back down in her chair.

Moira threw up her hands “Sure Dr Ziegler, I can just go turn the magic dial from terribly dangerous to suitable for babies.”

Angela scowled at her “Being petty doesn't suit you Doctor”

Moira sighed “Practically if we reduce its potency then we increase how much we need per dose which increases how much space it takes up. So unless you want everyone lugging a backpack tank and a hose for this stuff, we need to keep it small”

Angela pulled out a new piece of paper. “Right, let's see what we can adjust.”

\--

As a tradition, Ana liked to invite a select group of friends and colleagues around for a Halloween party. Some years it was costume mandatory but after last year's body paint mess (something for which Lena was still apologizing for), it was decided to keep it more casual this year.

Moira, having just escaped a long conversation with Dr Winston, was heading to the kitchen for a refill when she heard low voices from the hallway. Carefully, she pressed her ear to the door, taking care not to be discovered.

“The project is exciting, different from what I’ve done before and I’m glad you invited me over to work on it. But it’s progressing so slowly Ana, it’s like trying to run on one leg” She heard Angela say, an exasperated tone to her voice.

Moira heard her boss laugh, “I’m sure Mr Shimada could demonstrate that to you if you want. Don’t worry about it, you and Dr O’Deorain are producing good work. You’re still getting used to each other, it’s only been a couple of months.”

Angela grunted. “I also wish you hadn’t brought me in on someone’s life long project. She’s so protective of it, I’m having to work around the edges to have any effect. And trying to get any modifications to the core? Like getting blood from a stone.”

There was a pause, causing Moira to begin walking down the corridor, and then Ana spoke again. Her tone was much softer than before.

“You miss it, don’t you? Being out there.”

Carefully, Moira peeked around the door, giving her a glimpse at the scene she was overhearing.

In the hallway, Ana was resting her back on the wall, a glass of wine in her hand. Across from her was Angela. She was looking at the display of photos, in particular at some showing Fareeha on deployment. Moira had never seen Angela with this look on her face. She was smiling, but behind those eyes there seemed something else - a sense of longing.

Ana continued “It was hard just after I got back the last time. Knowing I’d left them all behind. That I was safe and warm in my bed and they were not. But it will pass in time.”

Quietly, Moira continued on to the kitchen, leaving Angela staring at the pictures.

\--

“You’re late Dr Ziegler”

Angela fixed her with a withering look as she jogged closer, pulling her headphones out of her ears as she came to a halt in front of her counterpart. Moira looked up from her stretching, an eyebrow raised.

“Did someone sleep through their alarm?’

Ignoring the question, Angela instead focused on Bas, patting his head as he waited for them to start “Glad at least one of you got out of bed on the right side of the bed this morning.”

Smiling at Bas’s wagging tail, she looked up at Moira “So what's the plan, Drill Sgt O'Deorain?”

Moira considered, her eyes sweeping the park. It was quiet, the still cold November air a negative for most of the runners that lived nearby. They had the whole park almost to themselves.

“Jog to the fountain, and then running circuits between it and the bandstand?”

Angela smiled as she stood up “Sounds like fun. I thought you'd be suggesting a perimeter circuit until we both collapse”

Moira grinned malevolently.

“Oh no, that sounds more like something for December. Or a weekend. Haven’t decided which yet but it’s coming for us both.”

They set off together but quickly Angela stormed ahead as always. Moira's competitive side wanted to speed up, sprint past her, but another part was more than happy to run behind the younger doctor. Watch her ponytail sway as she ran. Watching the way her running trousers hugged her hips. To say Angela was attractive was like saying a rocket was fast - technically accurate but lacking in all the details.

Of course, neither of them was able to keep up with the furry missile that was Bas. He was already excitedly running their sprint route, bouncing around in the cool morning air. The plan on days when Olivia was busy was to wear him out and then let him nap in the breakroom on his bed, the only exemption from the “no sleeping in the office” rule Ana liked to enforce.

By the time they finished their sprints, both were out of breath, sweat pouring off their brows. In between gasps, Moira spoke.

“Come on, let's head in. I've got a few concepts I want to run past you on the way back”

Angela laughed

“So you waited for me to be gasping before pitching them?”

Moira shrugged

“One way to keep you quiet”

\--

Moira almost growled when she got home in the dark, slamming the door behind her. She threw her bags onto the sofa before stomping her way to the kitchen in search of a drink.

Behind her, Olivia wandered out from her room, dressed in her long hoodie. She smiled gently at the newly returned doctor.

“Long day?”

Moira responded with nothing more than a nod, selecting a beer from the fridge

Olivia grinned “I’m just about to finish off the cooking so hopefully some food will cheer you up. Why not tell me what’s frustrating you as I add these prawns”

Moira settled down at the breakfast bar, watching Olivia’s back as she worked “Angela is one of the brightest people I’ve ever worked with but she’s such a pain in the arse, questioning every little thing still.“ She took a slug of beer.

“I just wish I knew what was going on behind those blue eyes. Understand where she was coming from and maybe we'd work together better.”

“Why not just search for her? Five seconds on the internet and you’ll know every little secret” Olivia turned and looked at Moira as she continued cooking, her hands mixing the toppings into the rice “Maybe you’ll find out she also likes blaring classical music at 2 am or writing ideas on the wall of the shower in marker pen.”

Moira held up her hand while she finished her mouthful of beer “Olivia, please. I’m not some lovestruck 20 something trying to cyber stalk her date. I’ll just talk to her”

Olivia didn’t say anything, instead turning back to the pan, but Moira could tell what she was thinking.

\--

Angela’s voice rang out in the lab. “You’re talking to the rabbit again”

“So?”

“It’s distracting”

Moira looked up from where she standing, a rabbit perched between her arms and quietly nibbling on a leaf. She smiled.

“I find it quite relaxing, helps me think. Have you tried holding one?”

Angela, in contrast, carried on with her work, pen scribbling down notes. She didn’t look up as she talked.

“Honestly, I wish we didn’t have to use them. They are test animals, making noises at them is going to disturb them. Which then means more tests to find the correct results which means more pain for them. I’d rather spare them that”

Moira closed the cage door with her elbow before crossing to Angela’s desk and placing the rabbit next to her. Angela didn't move her head, instead peeking with her eyes first. She started to reach out, fingers splayed but stopped herself. Moira just smiled at the gesture. She could see the mind behind those eyes, ticking over.

“You know, you can just say you don’t like the idea of experimenting on something you’ve bonded with. No one’s going to judge you for that here.”

Moira now lifted the rabbit up, holding her out for Angela to take. There was a pause before her arms moved but eventually, she formed a basket for Moira to place the rabbit into. It seemed content to sit there, sniffing its new surroundings. Angela rolled her head to look it over, taking in the soft details of its face, those long twitching ears, the sniffing nose.

Moira smiled as she stepped back “Besides, guidelines for testing has changed. Being social with them keeps them calm, in return giving us better baselines so more subtle issues are easier to spot. Low, quiet voices work best. I’ve even ended speaking to them in Gaelic as a change, they seem to like that”

By the time she finished talking, Moira could see Angela was lost in taking care of the brown lump in her arms, running her hand through its soft fur, gently cooing over it. Moira looked content as she returned to her desk, occasionally looking over the top of her monitor at the blonde doctor taking a much-needed break. Her entire body seemed more relaxed, a hunch in her shoulder gone. Even better, Moira could see the return of that smile across her face.

The next day, she came in to find Angela feeding the rabbits, softly talking in French while pushing the lettuce through the gaps in the cages.

\--

Moira lay there in bed, lacking the energy to even take off the trousers she had managed to undo before flopping down onto the covers. Another day finished, another series of arguments with her lab partner concluded with no winner. This was going to kill her, having to argue and justify every little modification.

She looked over at her computer. The green LED winking at her, whispering to her, tempting her to just look. One little search and she’d have almost everything she wanted

No. She stopped herself. She had better ways of research. She was a grown woman, she could just talk to her.

\--

There was a hiss of steam, a clunk and then a shout in German from the coffee machine.

“ _Oh, fick dich ins knie und stirb du nutzloser schrotthaufen! _”1

Moira didn’t even bother to look up before answering, the unfamiliar words of the Germanic language slightly mangled by her Irish burr.

“ _ Möchtest du dir ein wenig Seife für deinen Mund leihen?  _”2

The movement stopped. Moira looked up to see Angela was staring at her, the anger at the coffee machine replaced with confusion.

“I thought you said you didn’t know German”

“I didn’t. But I’m a fast learner.”

Angela rose an eyebrow.

Moira grinned “Mainly because it makes walking Bas easier.”

Angela didn’t answer this. She narrowed her eyes for a moment before returning to her percussive attempts to get her next hit of caffeine.

\--

With a satisfying click, the final part of the prototype settled into place. Angela stepped back, watching as the basic control system booted up, it’s internal lights casting a blueish tinge on the biotic components lying within.

“It’s ready. I can hardly believe it but it’s ready for testing” She turned back to Moira “we’ll drop this off with the team tomorrow, let them take a hammer to it and see if it fails.”

“I think a small celebration is in order” Moira leant down and pulled open her bottom drawer, lifting a small bottle of whisky with one hand, two glasses in her other.

Angela stared at the bottle “Are you sure Dr O’Deorain? Drinking at work?”

Moira smiled “Just a tumbler each. After all, it isn’t every day that you bring something to first test on time and under budget”

Angela continued looking at the glass, her eyes still wary. Unsure, Moira started to push the glasses back into her drawer, a thoughtful look on her countenance.

“Unless you’d prefer not to celebrate yet?”

Angela gulped before a shy smile broke across her face

“Well, maybe just a small one”

\--

The freezing rain had followed her home, soaking her through even in that five-minute gap between stepping out the car and getting into her flat. Bas was snoozing peacefully in his bed as Moira stepped past him into her room, taking off her wet things and laying them on the radiator to dry. Part of her knew she should get changed, make something to eat and finish her notes on Yuna's latest draft. But the rest of her just wanted to snuggle up in bed, enjoy the warmth for a while. Bed won.

As she lay there she thought back to the cause of her frustration. How little she knew about her lab partner - she could probably write most of it down on a sheet of A5 and still be no closer to knowing how she ticked. Even after their first prototype had been finished, Angela still remained inscrutable.

She looked around the empty flat, listening, making sure there were no prying eyes. Then she slowly opened the laptop and typed in the search terms she had been trying so hard to avoid writing

“ANGELA ZIEGLER”

The machine whirred as she pressed the enter key.

\--

Even at home, on such a project as this, she worked methodically, starting with the oldest information and moving forward. A local newspaper website gave her several articles on Angela as a child. An accident took her parents while she was young, leaving her in the care of her grandparents, a kindly looking couple. It seems she was some sort of child prodigy, lots of photos of her playing chess against people many years older. She looked happy and thoughtful throughout everything, giving Moira the impression she was enjoying the challenge.

She went to university young as well, as proudly boasted on her alma mater’s website. Bachelors turned into Masters turned into Doctorates. She focused on surgery, with several reports talking about her nimble fingers as well as a stream of co-published work. There was even a picture of her presenting at a symposium, and Moira could just make out a familiar figure on the front row, greying hair covered by a scarf.

Then, Angela's grandparents passed. The search served up an obituary, talking about how they cared for and served their community as well as their precious granddaughter. And then Angela seemed to give up her traditional medical career. She enlisted, passing out as a surgical officer in the Swiss Army. The next item was a news article featuring Reinhardt’s grinning face as she shook his hand, a combined Swiss/German flag patch in her other. The next photo set was from a magazine article covering her on operations, dressed in camouflage fatigues and bulky body armour, a large rucksack on her back as she posed with local children or walked down the road with her team. One magazine even described her as “An Angel in Hell”.

\--

Moira paused her delving to refill her tea.

\--

Then there was the video, still on LiveLeak and behind a graphic content warning. Amateur camera footage that one of the other soldiers in her unit had posted and somehow linked to her despite never mentioning her by name. She watched as a woman with “Ziegler” painted on the back of her vest led the way into a building, kicking in the front door. Moira moved closer to the screen as the camera caught someone jumping on her, pushing her to the floor and knocking off that helmet, revealing the dirty blonde hair and wide blue eyes. For a second the camera image seemed to blow out but when it came back Angela was slamming her attacker into the hard floor over and over again, a look of rage across her beautiful face. When he stopped moving she seemed to compose herself, simply picking her helmet up off the floor and pushing on into the next room. The video’s title underneath was untranslated from German and read “Die Valkyrie”.

Adding “Valkyrie” to the search terms seemed to unlock another world to her. Moira found herself diving deep in other soldier’s social media pages, finding a different Angela to the posed and picture perfect woman she’d found in official publications. Here she was hanging out with other people in camo, posing next to vehicles or sitting on plastic chairs under netting, often sharing a beer with the others or with the end of a cigarette perched in her hand. And throughout she was smiling. Not the fixed grin she had in earlier photos but the wide beam she had when Moira had found her with Bas. A genuine smile.

The next set of documents were harder to read. The first was a German army press release, announcing an incident on operations. The next was a picture of Angela propped up in a hospital bed, showing a thumbs up to the camera, her eyes bleary with pain. And there she was, stern-faced in her dress uniform, as she shook a Swiss general’s hand, the paperwork for her dismissal in the other. Moira could see in her face what this act did to her. The thin mouth oh so familiar now, the smile long forgot. There was no life behind those eyes, the most important part having just been ripped away with no warning. Moira knew that feeling well.

She closed her laptop, staring out into the rainy evening, her brain filled with questions and thoughts she just couldn’t shake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's Angela Ziegler.
> 
> Now the stage is set, the players introduced, we can start the drama.
> 
> \---  
> Thanks to Overboard for translation help
> 
> 1"Oh fuck you in the knee and die you useless pile of scrap."  
> 2"Would you like to borrow some soap for your mouth?"


	3. Complication

“You’re staring at me.” 

Moira blinked, her mind suddenly returning to the present. She was sat in their lab, her head resting on her hand, looking over the partition at her counterpart. Angela was smiling as she looked back, a look of amusement across her features.

She continued “Which either means I've got something on my face or you did some digging and want to ask me a question.”

Moira gulped as Angela kept talking to her, rolling her chair slowly around the lab until they were face to face. Her tone remained cheerful as if explaining past events was a common part of her life.

“Took you long enough, I thought you would have been asking me the usual stuff weeks ago. Hopefully, you’ll be more imaginative than most. There are only so many times you can answer “how is it being called a child prodigy” or “is that you in the video” before you want to throw them through a window. So what is it you want to ask?“

Moira ran through all the questions that her research on Angela had put into her head, eventually boiling down to the one most pressing. She fixed Angela with a gaze, her face level.

“Why?”

Angela blinked “You’ll need to be a bit more specific there”

Moira tried again “Why did you become a combat medic? You were a trained surgeon. You could have easily been one in theatre if your motivation was just to serve and be deployed. But instead, you ended up out on the frontlines where you were injured.”

She watched as Angela looked thoughtful for a moment, probably rolling her thoughts around in her head. Then she leaned back, her hands tucked into her pockets.

“As a surgeon, you can only work with what is presented to you. I want to make sure that no one died because the first responder couldn’t get the casualty to the surgeon in the best state. I wanted to save people in the hardest place on earth and be the best at it.”

She looked back at Moira.

“And I wanted to see the elephant.” There was a pause. “Do you know that term?”

Moira nodded.

Angela breathed out “I wanted to see combat and feel it. Get the rush that nothing else provides. Understand why we do it.”

Moira looked back, watching her speak, smiling inside at the spark of passion in her answers. She always knew she was driven but this was like peeling back the layers of her soul. Another question came to her mind.

“Was it worth it?” she asked, her voice quiet.

Angela stopped, her thumbs rubbing on the outside of her pockets while she thought about her answer.

“I don’t know. I don’t regret the lives I saved or the people I helped but...” she trailed off, one hand moving to scratch the top of her back.

She looked back at Moira. “Well, if we are trading stories, can we talk about your arm?”

The effect of those words was instant. Moira could feel herself immediately begin staring at the other doctor, the first tinges of fight or flight beginning to sneak into the edge of her brain. Was this a test? Had Angela also gone and done her research? If she had to explain this then so much else might come to light. Things that Moira wasn’t sure she wanted her colleague to know about her.

Whatever she felt, Angela hadn’t spotted it. Instead, she gestured to her arm, pointing at the black rubber peeking out from the end of her shirt sleeve. 

“The glove. I recognise the design as one of Ana early ones but I’m trying to work out what sort of injury would need a full-length version.”

Moira’s response was frosty. “Lab accident”

This raised an eyebrow on Angela’s face. “I guessed that - didn't see you as the extreme sports type. I meant what sort of lab accident?”

“I made a mistake. I was distracted and paid for it” Moira responded, her face remaining level.

Angela moved closer, lightly touching the glove before Moira could pull away. “It must have been pretty serious to need your whole arm covered. What treatment did it require?”

Time seemed to slow, the sensation of someone touching her almost too much. Moira snatched her arm away and narrowed her eyes.

“Stop. Just stop it. I can see where your mind is going Dr Ziegler. This isn’t something that needs diagnosing and fixing”

“But it must be painful if it requires that style of protection for everyday use” Angela shifted leaning forward, moving closer to Moira. Every part of her face managed to scream concern.

Moira held firm.“No, actually it isn’t. Besides, I’ve made my amends with it”

There was a snort and then Angela threw up her hands in disgust “Okay, now you’re being stupid, punishing yourself for something when you could easily fix it, make it better.”

With a sudden bang, Moira slammed her hands down on the table, the sound echoing through the lab. Her voice shook slightly as she spoke, anger barely held at bay.

“I said to stop, Dr Ziegler. Whatever I choose to do with my own medical condition is not your concern. I am not your patient - we are work colleagues, nothing more.”

Angela leant back in her chair, warily watching her. Moira noticed that for a moment she looked hurt, her mouth slightly open as if she was about to say something. But then she closed it, turning it into the thin line as her face hardened.

“Fine, Dr O’Deorain. If this is how you intend to act, then I have some errands I need to attend to. Hopefully, you will have rediscovered your manners by the time the Christmas party starts tonight.”

Moira didn’t say anything. She just stared as Angela grabbed her coat and left. It was only after the blonde doctor had left the room that she slowly breathed out, pressing her face into the palms of her shaking hands. 

\--

There was a hiss as the lab door opened, the tap of shoes as someone walked across the floor.

“Is Angela here?”

Moira turned in her chair, watching as Ana entered her lab. She was her usual smartly dressed self, today’s scarf a white one with an intricate pattern spiralling across it. As she walked, her eyes were still scanning the lab, as if expecting Angela to suddenly appear from some hiding place.

“You just missed her. She took off on some errands.” Moira responded.

Now Ana’s eyes settled on the relocated chair, along with the coffee cup next to it, vapour still rising. Moira watched as those eyes narrowed slightly.

“Some errands. Really? That’s what you are going with? I really hope that you weren’t the reason for her leaving Moira. I know how you can be sometimes”

Moira stood up “I wasn’t doing anything Ana. Why do you always assume it’s my fault when something goes wrong in this lab?”

Ana laughed. “Because normally it is. Especially as this is your lab.”

She clapped Moira on the back. Moira shuddered slightly at the impact, feeling herself pull her arms in a little closer.

“Talk to her tonight at the party. The last thing we want is for the two of you to be distracted right now.”

\--

Moira had always had mixed feelings about Christmas parties. They were, without fail, too loud, too crowded and with never enough food, and never enough drink to counteract the other points. On the other hand, it was always pleasant to catch up with staff and students she wouldn’t normally see, especially as the Foundation had expanded so much over the last few years. And as much as she tried to hide it, squirrelled away in her lab, part of her liked socialising. When she entered the lobby of the foundation’s headquarters, the hanging metal decorations adorned with tinsel and lights, a sigh of relief came from her, letting the sights and sounds of a busy party wash over her before venturing further. 

Her eyes wandered through the crowd, looking for one person in particular but glancing over several others along the way. It seemed her two mentees had managed to find each other - she easily spotted Lena, dressed in her suit, the line of piercings on her ear gleaming in the light. The effect was modified somewhat by the dashings of glitter someone had thrown in her hair, probably self-inflicted knowing her. She was chatting amicably with Yuna, a smile crossing the Korean girl’s usually stern features as the two showed phones to each other, obviously sharing photos of something. 

Olivia, clad in something incredibly purple and striking as always, was over in one of the corners talking with a group of the other PhD students. Most were pretty ordinary, gentlemen in smart suits, except for one who could only be described as an Amazon, clad in an orange dress and with long braided hair. Her roommate waved to Moira and Moira raised a hand in return, catching the eye of her taller companion. A spray of freckles sat between soft brown eyes, a friendly smile underneath. The likeness was familiar, a slightly softer version of Professor Lindholm’s craggy features. Moira’s brain clicked - this must be the oft-spoken of daughter, following the family trade. She had changed a fair bit from the tall, thin girl standing at the back of the photograph that hung beside his desk.

After collecting her drink from the bar, she finally glimpsed who she was looking for. Angela stood up on one of the balconies, gazing out over the sea of people below. She didn’t seem to be conversing with anyone, instead just enjoying the view, slowly drinking her way through her glass.

Angela’s clothing choices surprised Moira. From some of the pictures she had found in her research, dresses seemed to have been more her thing, as evidenced by the award ceremonies for her medical work as well as a few other social events. However, her selection for tonight was still breathtaking. A shirt and waistcoat combination sat above a long skirt - simply but effective. She had chosen dark clothing, offsetting her shining hair perfectly. She’d even found a black rubber band to tie it up with, the same feeling of practicality as always. 

One of the spotlights that were scanning around the party seemed to focus on her and for a moment everything froze. Moira could feel her brain focusing in on Angela, just staring at her standing there, the glow that seemed to emit from her intoxicating. Everything seemed to fall away, the unpleasantness of the morning forgotten.

Eventually, Moira managed to get up to the same level, walking up behind her and greeting her with a smile.

“Good evening Doctor Ziegler.”

Angela clenched her hand on the metal railing, still facing out over the party “Doctor O’Deorain”

Moira joined her on the balcony edge, resting one hand on the bar in front of her, “I guess your errands went well?”

“Well enough. Did you manage to recover your manners?”

Moira coughed “Actually I was coming over to correct that”

Angela turned now, her eyes slightly unfocused. Moira wondered if those errands had included a few applications of social lubricant before the party. “Yeah? Well, you can correct that tomorrow once I’ve finished being annoyed with you. Go find someone else to bother and let me stew.”

Moira could feel her grip tightening on her glass. She worked hard to keep her response level, a hint of her effort coming through in the strain in her voice. “Fine. Have a good evening Doctor”. Turning on her heel she left, looking to find Olivia or Genji amongst the crowd, leaving the blonde beauty alone at the railing once more.

\--

Akande leaned in closer to her, his finely tailored suit perfectly fitting around his broad form. His expression was a wry smile, his eyes catching the dim light. “Still can't tempt you away to join my project? Or do I have to start throwing donations around to persuade you.”

Moira laughed, the ice in her glass tinkling as she moved “I'd like to see you try. Ana would throw the book at you and then probably pick it up and beat you with it. Besides, you know my current project is something I've been hoping for since I started here. I'm on this train until it becomes real. You’ll just have to muddle on without me.”

Akande laughed at her words before looking over her shoulder, his eyes narrowing slightly. “Speaking of the professor, she’s closing fast on your six, staring at your back with a purpose. Have a good evening Doctor.”

Laughing to herself at Akande’s reaction, Moira turned just in time for Ana to step into her personal space. She was smiling, but Moira knew that look. Something was wrong. This feeling was confirmed when Ana placed one of her hands on Moira's wrist, pulling her closer to whisper in her ear.

“I just saw Angela make a break from the party rather suddenly. Can you go after her and make sure she is okay.”

Moira took another sip of her drink, letting the whisky burn its way down her throat, her eyes fixed forward. Her reply came through gritted teeth.

“Why would I do that. She’s a big enough girl to take care of herself. She’s made that perfectly clear.”

The hand on her arm gripped tighter, and Moira felt almost compelled to look down into Ana’s eyes. Students had reported the terror of one of Ana’s glares but Moira had yet to experience one. Now she had, it was not something she ever wanted to see again. Those eyes seemed full of something she had never seen before, a rage and the will to make things very uncomfortable indeed for whoever that rage was directed at. Moira had never asked exactly what Ana had done in the military before she created the Foundation but that stare suddenly reminded her of the rumours.

Her voice was quiet but forceful, somehow able to be heard over the din of the music starting up again. “You will do this because I’m asking you to. And because she is your lab partner and your friend, no matter how much you both try and pretend that isn’t the case. Get over yourself Moira and go make sure she is alright.”

There was no defence against that. She could do nothing more than nod, grabbing her jacket before heading out into the darkness.

\--

The air outside was still but cold, the temperature beginning to plummet just as the forecast had predicted. Moira rushed through the front door, eager to catch up to Angela. She wasn't hard to find - sat on the steps outside the foundation’s hall, out of sight of the main party, gently pressing each finger against her thumb in a rhythmic pattern as she breathed. Moira sat next to her, careful not to say a word, letting her take the lead.

For a few moments, it seemed like Angela hadn’t noticed her, still continuing to run through her routine. Moira was entranced by those fingers, watching the movement tick by, the digits dancing between positions. But then Angela spoke. Her voice was quiet.

“It was the smell.”

She leant forward on the concrete step.

“Someone’s cologne in there. Pine and... something. It’s one of those scents that sets off my brain. Makes it conjure up other things from when I...”

Angela paused, her breath catching in her throat. She looked up, her tear filled eyes meeting Moira’s, her makeup running down her cheeks. Moira felt her heart drop, just looking at her like this. The usually proud and confident doctor reduced to a wreck.

Moira pulled a handkerchief from her pocket, leaning out and carefully moving it over Angela’s face, tidying up the smudges.

Angela smiled weakly at her. “Here I am, just ruining everything for you again Dr O’Deorain”

“Don’t worry, I was starting to get tired of that party anyway” Moira paused before speaking again, her brain working through an idea. “Why don’t we get away from here and give you some time with Bas? I know he makes me feel happier after a bad day.”

Moira noticed that there was no hesitation in Angela’s response, her hair bobbing as she nodded her agreement. She let Moira cover her in a jacket and they began walking towards the taxi rack together.

\--

When the door to Moira’s flat clicked open, Bas was already waiting for them, sitting patiently in the hall. For a second, he touched Moira’s leg, a simple hello, but almost immediately headed for Angela. After receiving a pat on the head, he followed her to the sofa, gently pressing against her leg as she walked. Patiently, he sat in front of her, watching carefully as she made herself comfortable and settled back against the cushions. After a brisk “ _ oben _ ”, he lept up onto her lap and Angela started moving her hands to pat and stroke him, soft fur under her hands, her mind distracted.

As Bas settled himself under Angela’s attention, Moira quickly disappeared to the kitchen. The harsh light of the fridge briefly illuminated the dark room as she fetched two bottles of water, pouring them into glasses and adding a few cubes of ice from the freezer.

She stood in the darkness for a moment, just listening to the beautiful voice echoing from the other room as Angela talked to Bas.

Soon she found herself gently tapping her knuckle on the counter as she thought, worries and concerns flooding through her. What was she doing? What would this achieve? How would this look? Another thought appeared, unwanted but familiar - maybe if that possibility she wanted deep down actually happened, how long would it be before everything broke again? Before she broke it again? She fought slightly to regain control of her breathing, thinking more of who was sat in her lounge, a shining beacon against the dark thoughts she left in the kitchen.

As she returned to the lounge, a glass in each hand, Moira paused in the doorway. Angela had taken her waistcoat off and was now resting her head on Bas’s side, feeling the dog’s fur rise and fall against her cheek. She lifted herself up as Moira got closer, taking one of the offered glasses of water with a gentle smile, sipping at the cold water.

“Do you need anything else? There’s some food in the fridge I could warm up if you’re hungry.” Moira offered, still standing, ready to leap back into the kitchen and fetch whatever was needed.

She could see Angela hesitate, those blue eyes clouding for a second, her hands pausing as she rubbed Bas’s head. Eventually, she answered.

“I need your help. With my back. I’ve got spare dressings in my bag along with some gloves.“ She looked up at Moira, her eyes pleading “If you don’t feel comfortable I can do it myself, it will just take longer.”

Moira shook her head. “Don’t be ridiculous. If you need help, I’ll help.”

They moved through into Moira’s bedroom, leaving Bas sat quietly by the door, a lone sentry. Once inside, Angela removed her shirt, revealing an expanse of bandages and surgical tape across the width of her upper back. It had obviously been done using a mirror by Angela herself, the tape at various angles, not always sitting flush with her skin. Angela looked again at Moira. She was trying to gauge her reaction, as if waiting for something to flash across her face. But Moira just pulled on the gloves and directed her to lay down face forward on the bed.

Carefully, watching for any sudden movements of the pain, the older woman slowly removed the dressings to reveal the creamy skin underneath. Moira’s eyes were drawn to the flash of metal over part of her spine, an ugly strip covering several vertebrates in armour. On either side were angry red marks, smooth patches hiding the damage beneath, spreading out from the central point, irregular shapes sitting next to her spine.

Moira couldn’t stop herself. She gently ran a finger next to them, whispering under her breath “They’re like wings.”

Angela laughed - a bitter laugh, without a single hint of her usual joy. “That’s what the doctors said when I woke up back in Geneva. Almost became a joke. Angela the Angel”

As Moira worked, carefully cleaning and then applying the bandages, Angela began to tell her story. She spoke like she worked - calmly, precisely, efficiently. But Moira could hear the emotion that each word held, sense the thoughts bouncing around her head.

They helped to lay out the scene before her. A foreign land, Angela in her fatigues and body armour like the video she had seen, a large rucksack on her back emitting a gentle hum from the power supply. The sun beating down as they walked into one of the district centres.

And then the burst of noise and light. Angela being thrown to the ground, her pack igniting behind her. And then the smell. Before Angela had even described what had happened, Moira could already imagine it - the cloying chemical scent that would have come from those burns. The way it would stick in your nose for weeks afterwards, a constant reminder of what had happened. She knew that all too well.

Moira finished, applying the last of gel before sealing the dressings up. Angela started to stand up and gather her clothes but Moira stopped her.

“That shirt looks a little tight on the bandages. I should have something a little more comfortable for you” While Angela paused, Moira delved into one of her cupboards, hunting through the pile of scruffy clothing she saved for a lazy weekend. Eventually, she handed Angela one of the old t-shirts to change into. Angela took it from her, looking at it sceptically.

“The Reapers? I didn't take you for a hockey fan.”

Moira looked back at Angela, watching as she drowned in the black cotton, a white elongated skull emblazoned across the front. For a moment she saw him in it, pulling it over his head in the early hours of the morning before disappearing into the kitchen. But then it was gone, and she was back in the present watching her co-worker shift it across on her thinner shoulders.

She swallowed. “I'm not. it was one of my ex's. Comes in handy on laundry day or when I’m painting.”

Angela tilted her head. “Did they mean to leave it behind?”

Moira looked at it. He’d loved that shirt, always wore it when he was at home. Seeing him in it was usually a good sign that they were staying in that night, cuddled up next to each other on the sofa. She could remember snuggling close to it, resting her head with that skull just behind her ear. At least, that's how it was at the beginning.

She muttered her response “I don’t think I ever knew what he intended to do. Not at the end.”

Angela took a step forward, her arms reaching around the thin figure in front of her.

“Thank you for helping me Moira.” She whispered, her arms pulling them closer together.

God, Moira had never felt like this.

She stiffened, her heart pounding in her ears. Part of her wanted to pull the other woman in tighter, wrap her arms around her and hold her. Start gently placing kiss across her warm neck…

But then that dark thought reappeared. Waiting. She could almost feel it, sat on the wardrobe, winding up it’s timer.

Instead, she carefully placed her hands on Angela’s shoulders, pushing her back slightly, making Angela look up at her and frown. Moira coughed.

“It would be poor of me not to help you. Now, is there anything else you need?”

Angela sighed, flopping down on the bed. She looked around before catching her host’s eye.

“Well, now we’re here, how much alcohol have you got? Because I want to try and forget what happened at the party tonight”

Moira smiled “I think we have plenty for a private little party of our own.”

\--

Things had really started getting foggy when they broke out the rum, Moira thought. The pair of them were sat on her bed, resting against the pillows as they worked through Olivia’s stash of easy drinking alcohol, affectionately titled “the binge pile” by Lena when she had last visited, the two bright blue bottles sat at the bottom her contribution. 

And for the first time they just talked. Conversation, not just discussing work problems but genuine personal conversation, flowed freely. They talked about university experience, old jobs and recent films. Both skirted around topics but as the beers kept coming, the smiles maintained.

Angela started to laugh, the merry sound of someone deep into the drunken state.

“You know I really shouldn't be drinking”

Moira felt herself freeze.

“What”

Still giggling, Angela continued “I shouldn't be drinking. It's not good for my head. Makes me very… unprofessional”

“Unprofessional?” Moira breathed a sigh of relief “God Angela you worried me. I thought you were going to say it interfered with some form of medication or something similar”

Angela pulled a face “Aww, Dr O'Deorain cares about little old me. I just thought you put up with me because Ana made us work together.”

Moira looked at her and sighed. “Of course I care about you.” There was a second before she caught herself “I mean, otherwise, I’d have to work with someone else. Maybe someone less… fun to work with”

“Fun?” 

Moira watched as Angela moved towards her across the bed, her glass placed on the floor behind her.

“How else would the good Doctor describe working with me?”

Moira raised her eyebrow before speaking.

“Exciting”

Angela moved closer, resting her hand on Moira’s arm.

“Frustrating”

The hand shifted, climbing higher. Moira could feel herself swallow, the sensation spiking through the glove.

“Infuriating”

Angela shuffled across the pillows, her shoulder now resting against Moira's. She was so close now, close enough that Moira could see the little movements in her eyes as she watched Moira for a reaction, the nervous shuffles as she settled.

“Distracting”

As if in slow motion, Angela started to lean in, her eyes closing. Moira felt herself begin to smile, excitement rising in her chest.

“Delightful”

Their lips connected. The firework exploded behind Moira’s eyes and she pushed back harder in response, her hand moving to gently caress her partner's cheek.

That first kiss became multiple, each flowing into the next, the pair of them barely coming up to breathe. At some point Angela had shifted to be sat on top of Moira, pushing her down on the bed. Hands started to pick at Moira's shirt, popping buttons to reveal the pale flesh underneath, the black bra covering her small chest, the shadow of definition over her abs. Those hands were warm as they glanced down her stomach and Moira couldn’t help but react, purring slightly at their touches. Her own hands were knitted in that blonde hair that had haunted her dreams, pulling her lover closer and closer, pressing themselves against each other.

She felt Angela try to move her head back and so let go, breaking the kiss for the first time. Moira watched as the blonde straightened her back, looking down at her with a satisfied look. Her own eyes locked with Moira’s as she began dragging the oversized t-shirt up her body. Never breaking eye contact, she pulled the garment over her head, revealing her own chest. Moira licked her lips, watching, warmth spreading through her as that pair of delightful objects came into view.

Angela giggled “It seems you’ve found something you like, hmm”

Nodding, Moira reached out for the breasts above her, her long fingers encapsulating each orb. She flicked those pert nipples with her thumbs, drawing slow circles around them, watching as it prompted a reaction in the angel above her.

She smiled as Angela moaned at her touch “They’re perfect. Just like you” Moira whispered her voice heavy with excitement.

A breathy response came from above “I’m not perfect”

Angela moved closer but Moira was faster, flipping her onto her back and prompting a yelp from her partner. She placed her hands on the pillows either side of the doctor’s head, her eyes staring into the blues below. She watched with delight as Angela shifted beneath, her breathing heavy, her eyes staring back up at her. Moira grinned.

“Oh but you are Dr Ziegler. You are perfection incarnate and it drives me mad just to see you”

Her left hand started to walk its way down her body 

“How you look when you’re angry”

The fingers went lower, and Moira could help but admire the trim physique Angela kept

“How you act when you’re tired”

She grabbed Angela’s trouser’s and felt her lift slightly, letting her pull them away to reveal her white underwear. Angela’s eyes burned into her, her face twitching slightly with every touch.

“It’s all so maddeningly perfect”

She gently pushed Angela’s underwear away. Her long digits took their time to enter, enjoying the sight of the proud doctor squirming against her touches as they danced around her opening.

“Please Moira just…”

Moira sunk two fingers in and Angela’s eyes widened at the sensation. She keened as Moira added her thumb, gently touching her exposed nub.

“Oh christ, how are you so good at this”

Grinning, Moira added a third, prompting a whine from her partner, Angela’s hands reaching up from below and starting to roam further over the thin body.

“It helps when you are working with a masterpiece,” Moira said, delight dripping from her words.

Angela's leg shifted, pressing against Moira's groin, prompting a groan, and the taller woman started to get into a proper rhythm, moving her whole body in time with her hand as she pumped in and out. Her excitement growing, the sensation ramping up, the friction she could feel against her lover’s leg tantalizing.

She could tell Angela was close, the volume of her reactions slowly increasing, and so placed her gloved hand up to her mouth.

“Shush, we don’t want to wake the neighbours now do we” she whispered in Angela's ear. A smile came her to her face as she sensed a reaction to her words from the movement she felt beneath her, the very thought obviously a turn on for the younger doctor.

Three things happened very quickly for Moira: 

One - she felt Angela clench around her, her fingers held tight by her walls. 

Two - Angela’s mouth found the black glove in front of her and bit it. Hard.

Three - the world seemed to explode into sensations of light and feeling, the circuitry on her right arm working in overtime to handle the cascade. Moira felt the breath disappear from her lungs, the pressure in her lower release, a strangled cry coming as her brain was bombarded with signals.

Spent, Moira rolled to one side, letting her back come to rest on the soft bed beneath her. She felt arms begin to wrap around her, the warmth of someone pressing against her, the sudden sensation of the covers being pulled over them. That blonde hair that she had dreamed of since that first meeting in the park filled her view. She lay soft kisses on it as she started drifting to sleep.

A voice, exhaustion creeping into the edges of it, came from below. The speaker was obviously unused to what she was saying, pronouncing the words phonetically as if remembering them from a page but well aware of their meaning. Moira smiled as she drifted to sleep, letting them flow through her head.

_ Is breá liom tú an méid sin _

_ I love you so much _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The emotional rollercoaster rolls on!


	4. Failure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HERE WE GO

Moira woke to a scream.

The world was still dark outside, the street lamps barely casting a glow into her room through the half-open curtains. In her groggy state, it took her a moment to realise the cry was coming from next to her.

She turned over to find a lump wrapped in the covers, occasional moans of fear echoing from inside. Angela was shaking, a sheen of sweat on her forehead. Her eyes, wide and staring, flitted around the room, jumping at every shadow. As Moira started to move, they focused slightly on her, warily watching.

Slowly, Moira dragged herself over to her partner’s side of the bed, sitting upright. Gingerly, she placed a hand under Angela’s form, pulling her next to her. She felt her shake at her touch and so carefully moved to lift her upright, resting her feet onto the wooden floor, grounding her in the present. Angela breathed out as her toes touched the cold surface beneath them, stretching them with a sigh of relief. Moira just pulled her closer, whispering into her ear, running her hand down her other arm to comfort her.

“You’re safe Angela, it was just a nightmare. You're in my flat, sat on my bed, I'm here.”

Both of them heard movement by the door behind them, causing Moira to look over her shoulder as it started to move.

“Moira? What the fuck is going on in there!” a voice shouted from the other side.

The door swung open, light flooding in, and Olivia burst into the room. Her hair was askew, and she was clad in nothing more than a long shirt, a stylised pixel skull printed across its front. Behind her, Moira could see Genji peeking around the doorframe, eyes filled with worry. They both halted at the glare that Moira fixed them with, her brown almost reddish eye burning over her shoulder at the pair of them.

Olivia stuttered out a response as she spotted Angela on the bed “Is that…”

Moira’s voice was level, almost emotionless but packed full of warning “Close the door Olivia and go back to your room.”

“But we heard a scream...” Olivia turned to look at Genji for support but Moira interrupted her.

“She will be okay. Thank you for your concern, now go back to bed.” 

Olivia looked like she was going to say something else until a hand placed itself on her shoulder, a gentle whisper from Genji floating into her ear. Instead, she breathed in and nodded.

“Okay. I'll check on you both in the morning...” she responded, closing the door behind her.

As darkness enveloped the room once again, Moira felt Angela begin to sob quietly, tears rolling down her cheek. She turned back, pulling her in tighter.

“Shush, it’s okay” Moira whispered.

Angela gulped between sobs “I knew I shouldn’t have drunk anything, i-it always b-brings the nightmares back. It was stupid, stupid, stupid...”

“It’s okay Angela” Moira ran a hand through that long blonde hair, the other working its way to find Angela’s. When it did, Angela clamped her hand on tightly.

They sat in the darkness for a while, silently staring out of the window as the first flakes of snow began delicately to fall from the night’s sky.

“You must hate me...” Angela whispered.

Moira looked down at her. Those normally startling eyes were dull, staring straight out of the window. The look on her face was very different from the determined and focused expression she usually wore. This was more melancholy, a sadness on full display.

Angela continued. “All I do is cause you problems. In work, at home. All I do is hurt you.”

“Don't be ridiculous Angela. I don’t hate you. I could never hate you.” Cautiously Moira smiled “Now the way, you try to be subtle and avoid being spotted when pulling a piece of chocolate from your top drawer, that I hate. Mainly because it makes me want a piece every time.”

She felt Angela smile beneath her, a quiet chuckle, and so moved to gently pat her long blonde hair.

“Come,” Moira said, pulling the covers back ”let's go to sleep”

Angela started to lift herself up, shaking her head slightly, until she suddenly gasped, her gaze fixed on Moira.

“ _ Scheiße _ . Moira, your arm”

Puzzled, Moira looked down. The black glove over her right arm had caught on something and rolled back below her elbow, revealing the edge of the purple and scarred flesh that lay underneath.

She started to move, eager to hide it but Angela was faster. A delicate hand caught the material and started to pull. Inch by inch it rolled down her sleeve, every step causing Angela to whisper under her breath with concern, watching as the circuity of the glove disconnected from the flesh beneath.

“Oh,  _ Liebling  _ what did you do...” Angela whispered, her eyes moving to take in the sight.

Moira stood up, moving away from Angela’s touch and closer to the window. She lifted her arm into the light, giving Angela a full view of it for the first time. By her shoulder, it was simply discoloured, a purple tinge to her pale flesh. But further down, it was more damaged. Dark purple bruises surrounded patches of cracked skin, the tendons and muscles showing against the thin layer of covering. Her fingers were almost featureless, all sign of nails and prints gone from the digits as if they had never existed.

“It's grotesque, isn't it?” she said despondently, turning her arm in the moonlight, watching as the shadows caught it.

“This is why refused all your ideas about storing the biotics unfiltered.” She turned back to look at Angela and raised her arm. “2 seconds was all it took. 2 seconds of distraction and now I’ve got a useless lump for a right arm, completely numb to anything without its sleeve.”

Angela stood up, joining her at the window. She took the discoloured limb in her hand, running her fingers along it, her eyes following her touches.

Moira watched her, saw the way she elegantly cupped her damaged limb. She seemed entranced by it, the scientist in her wanting to poke and prod and check for a reaction while the human side was more concerned to avoid causing pain. Eventually, she reached the fingers, gently manipulating them as she inspected.

With tears starting to mist her eyes, Moira leaned out her other hand, running it across Angela’s chin and whispered. “I shouldn’t have someone as beautiful and caring standing in front of me now. I shouldn’t be allowed to feel like this. Happy I mean. Not after...” she trailed off, her eyes gazing out into the night.

Angela looked up, her blue eyes piercing through the darkness “I don't know what you think you did wrong. But I do know that you deserve every happiness in this world, Moira. Every single one”

Moira scoffed “How could you know that”

Angela stood up and kissed her again, a weak smile on her face as she pulled back.

“I just do. I also know that I'm tired now Moira. Let me tell you in the morning. Please”

The pair returned to bed, Moira pulling the covers back over them as Angela snuggled in closer to her. Outside, the snow continued to fall.

\--

Moira woke to her alarm blaring at her. With one arm she felt towards the sound, her hand running along the bedside table until she hit the snooze button. Blinking away the lethargy of sleep, she felt around her, eagerly seeking the warm body she had remembered curling up next to after last night’s incident.

But it wasn't there. Angela wasn’t there. The bed next to her was empty, the covers neatly folded back as if there had never been anyone beside her. She started to scan the room. The remnants of the binge box were still present, as were the pair of tumblers the two had used, neatly positioned on top. But Angela’s clothes had gone.

“Angela?” Moira called, wondering if she'd simply got up and gone to the lounge to avoid disturbing her.  

But then her eyes caught something at the window. A black t-shirt, neatly folded, sat on the window sill. On top of it was a triangle made from A4 paper, obviously pulled from the note-taking pad Moira kept close to her bed.

Her heart sinking, Moira dragged herself across the bed, stepped across the cold wooden floor and picked up the note. She read it, her face unmoving except for her eyes zig-zagging across the text.

_ “Moira _

_ Thank you for last night. I hope I wasn’t too much of a burden. _

_ I will be taking a few personal days to work out the best way to move on from here. I would not want our feelings towards each other to affect your life's work. I'm sorry to leave before you woke up but it seemed best. _

_ Angela” _

Moira threw the note down onto the bed. She looked down at her arm, the purple skin on full display, before angrily rolling her glove back over it, hiding it from the world. Of course, this is what would happen. She'd revealed too much of herself and scared away the woman she cared about. She clenched her hands, a cocktail of anger and sadness and loathing pulsing through her.

The dark thought cackled at her, mocking the way she tried to ignore it as she got ready for the day.

\--

Olivia stood in the door to her room as Moira left for work, an impish grin on full display, ready to ask all sorts of probing questions in order to get the gossip. That grin disappeared as soon as she saw Moira, her face firm, striding past her towards the front door while thrusting a ball of screwed up paper into the bin. The door slammed behind her, Bas jumping up at the sudden noise.

All thoughts of happiness disappeared from Olivia’s brain. Carefully, she picked up her phone and made a call she had always hoped she would never have to.

\--

It was silent in the lab.

Moira slumped into her chair, all by herself as it had always been before September. And for the first time, she hated it. She hated being surrounded by the humming of her lifeless machines, hated the quiet that filled the space. She looked over at the desk opposite her station, only a few small items to show that someone had been there.

She hated how much she cared that the chair across from her was empty.

Moira was woken from her spiral by Ana's sudden appearance, only the sound of the pressure door hinting that she had arrived. As she got closer, Moira could hear her breathing. It was harsh and ragged, a far cry from her usual calm and composed self. Ana looked furious when she finally got into Moira’s view.

“What happened last night? First, Angela requests the next few weeks off out of the blue and then Olivia tells me how she found the pair of you earlier this morning. So please Doctor, what did you do to her?”

Moira paused.

“What did I do?” she said quietly, her head low.

She turned on Ana, her eyes staring at her, anger bubbling to the surface.

“WHAT DID I DO?”

Moira stalked across the room towards Ana, rage filling every inch of her. Months and months of stress rolled off her as she vented, her hands clenching and unclenching.

“I did EXACTLY what you asked me to do. As I always do. I didn't complain when you hoisted her on me. I didn't raise a single issue when her constant questions slowed us down. I didn’t even cause yesterday’s problem, contrary to your incredible detective skills when you dropped in. I didn't fight back when you told me to leave and take care of her. And yet EVERYTHING that goes wrong anywhere near me is obviously always my fault according to you.”

The next words tumbled out of Moira’s mouth before she even thought about them, anger and rage fueling her.

“Have I not apologized enough for whatever you think I did to Gabe?”

Ana paused at that name. She turned back to Moira, taking a few steps closer. She looked almost puzzled.

“Is that what you think…”

She stopped, closing her mouth as she blinked. When she responded her voice was firmer, her face stern.   
  
“I think, Doctor O'Deorain, that you need to take some time off. I'm putting you on enforced leave, effective immediately. Take what you need from the lab today, facilities will be disabling your access card until we can sort out this mess in the new year.”

Moira paled.

“Wait, what? Ana, you can't be serious. There is so much left to do. The prototype, the presentation, it’s all so close, I just need a few more days to polish it up...”

Ana’s face showed she wasn’t having any of it. She crossed her arms across her chest, her eyes like steel.

“I am serious Moira. You are obviously in no fit state to work, especially without your lab partner who, I remind you, is required by the project agreement. Now start collecting your things or else I shall inform security.”

Ana turned to leave. Moira, however, was staring. She didn’t want to stop work, not now. Work might be the only thing she actually had control over. She shouted at her boss, almost pleading.

“Why are you doing this Ana!?”

Ana swung around, striding across the floor until she was standing face to face with Moira. She hissed her response at the taller woman. “Because I have already seen the damage you can do when you’re like this. And I have no desire to see it happen again. Go home Moira. Take some time off. Talk to Olivia or Lena or someone. We shall fix this later.”

\--

“Coffee for O'Deorain”

Moira looked up from the wooden bench she was sat at, her long finger drawing a line across it's indented and pitted surface. She smiled weakly at the server in front of her, the lights of the cafe almost giving her a halo from the spotlight behind her.

“No drainpipe comment today?”

Smiling sadly, Lena pulled up a stool next to her before jumping onto it

“Didn't seem the right time. You want to talk about it?”

“Aren't you busy?” Moira shrugged

Lena looked around the cafe, her eyes wandering over the empty tables and the few remaining customers “Most of the student population is heading home for Christmas, it's miserable outside and we ran out of festive themed flavours at lunchtime. So I think I can take my break a little early.”

She grinned “Besides if we do get some customers, it will force Amelie to do something other than reading the erotic works of Guillaume Apollinaire on her phone under the counter.”

Moira noticed a thin hand, covered in a blue plastic glove suddenly appear over the counter, closed into a fist except the raised middle finger. It scanned the room several times before disappearing out of sight after a snort of laughter from Lena.

Moira shrugged, prompting Lena to shuffle closer. She placed one elbow on the bench top, before resting her head on top and looking up at Moira.

“So what's up? Those pesky nano-bots not co-operating?” She leaned in conspiratorially “Olivia find out you’ve been taking her alcohol after a long hard night of sciencing?”

Staring into her coffee, Moira tried not to think about the box sat in her room, the empty bottles neatly stacked by it when she’d left this morning rather than the mess she could vaguely remember from the night before. She coughed.

“I’ve been suspended. No lab access until January.”

Lena gasped “What! Why?”

Moira paused, thinking over her words carefully. “I had a… conversation with my lab partner,”

“This is Dr Ziegler, right?” Lena briefly interrupted “You mentioned her a few times before.”

Moira coughed. Even hearing her name made her pause. But she pushed on “Yes. I had a conversation with Dr Ziegler after the Christmas party. I thought it went well but apparently, she disagreed and decided to take some personal time away. Which has caused some… problems with Ana. Hence why she has placed me under suspension until the New Year.”

“That’s awful!” Lena looked at her, her shock slowly becoming a sly smile on her face “but a conversation after a party eh? Not to be too crude Doctor but that sounds like fun. Did you enjoy it?”

Moira thought about it. Thought about the feelings and sounds and sensations the night before had brought her. Thought about seeing under her, watching her face as she climaxed. It was hard not to think about that moment once they were done, feeling Angela curling up against her in the post-coital haze. She nodded.

“But you want it to be more than just one night don’t you?” Lena smiled “Little bit of workplace romance but escalated?”

Moira nodded again, tears starting to form in her eyes. A sob came from her chest before she could stop herself, a wave of sadness sweeping through her. That moment she so loved felt bittersweet, a glimpse into something that she wanted so badly.

“The idea of never seeing her again, never hearing her laugh or seeing her smile…” Moira managed to blurt through the first tears.

She saw a blur move as Lena came in towards her. Thin, wiry arms soon wrapped themselves around Moira's shoulder and that brown hair, it's fluffy volume a comfort, compressed against her face.

“That’s okay Doc, just let it all out.”

She rested her head on Lena for a little while, tears still falling until suddenly she felt a vibration coursing through the younger girls body.

“Oh bollocks, one second”

Lena moved slightly, obviously pulling her phone from her pocket. Moira untangled herself, drying her eyes on her coat sleeves, and watched as Lena smiled when the screen lit up, the look maintaining as she put it to her ear. Moira could only hear half the conversation but it told her all she needed to know.

“Em? Hi. Yeah, really sorry but I’m in the middle of something. Can I call you back later? Okay great. Love you”

Lena clicked the end call button, the grin that had appeared at the merest sight of the caller still holding in place. She froze when she met Moira’s eyes.

“Em?” Moira raised an eyebrow “Something you failed to mention in our weekly chats?”

“Ah. She’s my errr…” For the first time in a long time, Moira saw Lena trip over her words. She watched as Lena started to blush, the grin returning to her face. “Emily is my girlfriend. For the last few months. And now I realise this is exactly the wrong time to tell you.”

“Nonsense” Moira straightened up, composing herself. “I’m sure hearing you enthuse about her will be a nice distraction from my woes.”

Lena returned to her stool and started flicking through her phone eventually finding a picture. She passed the device to Moira, before sitting back on her stool, slightly rocking it back and forth with excitement.

Moira looked down at the image. It was Lena and another girl at the Christmas market, both wrapped up warm with coats and gloves. The other girl had long ginger hair and brown eyes, a green scarf wrapped around her neck. Lena was pulling her usual grin but this girl, Emily was beaming at the camera. Even just looking at her, Moira could tell she would be the type of person people described as “kind”. Something in the eyes, or the curve of mouth in the smile. Or the way she was leaning against Lena, pulling her close.

As Moira was inspecting, Lena was frantically describing her “She’s so perfect Doc. She’s kind and patient, even when I’m making a mess of me self! Came up here for an inter-university sports competition and I could barely take my eyes off her when she played. And then we met up in the pub afterwards and it turns out we’d been trying to find each other all night! She’s studying a history degree but writes for the university paper. And our first kiss! Oh, it was like…it was like… lighting! And electricity and warmth and…”

Lena stopped. “I’m babblin’ again  aren’t I?” She asked, a sheepish grin across her face.

In response, Moira just smiled “A little bit. But I can guess why. She sounds very special!”

Lena blushed again, “She is. And she wants to meet you! Maybe in the new year when things have settled down, seeing as she’s planning to drive me back here after we spend Christmas together.”

Still smiling, Moira sat talking with Lena for a little while longer. The pain of the day was still there, lurking in the back of her brain. But inside the warm coffee shop, the snow turned to cold rain hammering down outside, Lena excitedly talking through everything that came to mind, Moira was distracted, her thoughts too focused on the present to think about the darkness.

\--

The next few days saw Moira spending most of them wrapped up in her duvet, barely leaving except to sit under the shower or grab some food from the fridge. Bas was her constant companion, always next to her bed, always keeping a close eye on her. Olivia tried to help, making some home cooked meals for them but Moira hadn’t yet forgiven her for spying on her for Ana. However, Olivia had expected this - most of the things she prepared were microwave safe, a note slid under Moira’s door with details of them when they were ready. They also often had little sketches on them, which did bring some amusement to Moira.

On the fourth day of her enforced holiday, there was a knock on the door. Bas, dozing next to her perked up, sniffing the air.

Moira just growled “Go away Olivia, I'm not in the mood”

Bas padded closer to the door and then barked excitedly.

The voice from the other side was strong and confident, even through the wood. Her accent played around her words, exotic yet familiar.

“I'm glad to hear at least someone is happy to see me in there”

Moira leapt out of bed and rushed to the door, throwing it open. There, standing tall in her leather jacket and jeans, sunglasses pushed up on her head, was an impressive figure. Looking Moira in the eyes, she flung her arms around the other woman.

“Oh I've missed you Moira”

“Fareeha! You're back! When did you get here?”

She smiled as they parted “Plane arrived this morning but I couldn't be here long without coming to say hello to my favourite doctor could I?”

She patted her empty sleeve end “Not to mention, Olivia is working her magic on my arm. I love the guys at the Foundation to bits but they seriously need to start using some of Colomar’s incredible bearings in the production models.”

“And of course, she's making sure it looks right as well. Can’t be running around without the classic blue look. People won’t know who I am” She grinned again but then her face hardened slightly.

“But mainly, I’ve been sent to negotiate peace. Can we… talk privately?”

Moira stepped back, letting Fareeha into her bedroom before closing the door behind them. Fareeha took her jacket off, placing it on the bed, before sitting down on the edge. She put her hand out and Bas came up to her, eagerly sniffing before letting her stroke him. With her hand distracted, Fareeha looked back up at Moira.

“So mother has told me what happened. And I need to apologize for her. For all her lovely qualities, she can be a little...  _ cruel  _ sometimes. Not always intentionally, but the way she speaks can often make things intended to be humorous be treated very seriously instead. And, as you might guess, she is very focused on making sure one of her great changing-science-forever projects doesn’t go tits up because of staffing issues.” 

“As for her feelings regarding...” Fareeha didn’t say his name and some part of Moira was glad. 

“It’s not my place to say - you should really talk to each other about that. But Moira, the way you spoke to her? It scared her. I’ve never seen her so worried - about you, about her own actions. When she called me, just as I was packing up to come home, It almost felt like it was two years ago all over again.”

Fareeha paused to catch her breath, watching Moira for any sort of reaction.

“Which brings me to sowing the seeds of peace. Seeing as you are not going to see your family this year, she has sent me to invite you around for Christmas day festivities. Turkey, Christmas jumpers, the whole nine yards. Reinhardt is going to be cooking so you know it will be good. There will probably be a walk at some point, perfect for Bas, and I'm sure I could be persuaded to play with my favourite pup at Christmas if you want to sit quietly and enjoy the time off.”

Moira stopped for a moment to think as Fareeha started playing with the dog. Her usual plans had been scuppered due to her Da going to see her brother and his family in Boston. The invitation had not been extended to her (something her niece Fio found especially annoying based on their emails to each other). The backup plan was also a no-go this year due to Olivia going to Tokyo with Genji to spend the holidays alongside his family. And as much as she might pretend she didn’t care, the idea of Christmas by herself did not fill her with joy.

Fareeha could obviously see her mind working. “You don’t need to answer me now. Just remember the option is there if you want it.” She grinned.

“And if you don’t come, I get to have your portion of the roast potatoes”

There was another pause before Fareeha continued.“I also talked to Angela.” Moira raised an eyebrow before she explained.

“We did some training work together in the sandbox, mainly with the local female police officers, and so we send each other the occasional email, just to keep in touch. Anyway, she told me her side of the story and as far as I can tell, you two managed to impress each other enough to freak yourselves out. She mentioned it’s been a long time since she spent the night with anyone, as you can guess the injury disturbs people” She patted her sleeve. “I know that all too well”

Moira was quiet for a little while “How is she?”

Fareeha smiled “She’s good. Just needs a bit of time to herself, think some things through. She doesn’t know when she’ll be back but she is adamant she wants to carry on with the project. She also said thank you for sticking with her when she woke up in the night. And as someone who had enough of those with no one beside me, you’ll have done her a world of good.”

She smiled. “Don’t worry, you’ll see her again soon. She just needs some time.”

Fareeha leant over and reached into her jacket for her wallet. She thumbed through a few slots until eventually finding what she was looking for

“Finally, I want you to take this” She handed over the card and Moira glanced at the writing

**Shambali Institute**

**Counselling and Psychotherapy**

Moira looked up “A therapist?”

A nod from Fareeha “Actually, a pair of them. Look, you don’t need to do anything with that card other than have it to hand. But based on how what you said to my mother and past events, I think you might find a discussion with one of them useful. I talked to them after a few months of being back and I felt so incredibly calm afterwards. All the little insecurities, the feelings of people staring at me, just faded away. Genji has also used them to help deal with some of his issues after the accident and he liked them so much he works there part-time doing admin for them. When Olivia isn’t taking his legs off obviously.”

She raised her arms slightly, her palm exposed to Moira in a symbol of surrender.

“But no pressure. I’m not going to drag you down there to force you on to that sofa. It doesn’t work like that. I just want you to know the option is there”

She stood up and walked over to the older woman, her arms outstretched. Moira let herself be pulled into a hug, feeling Fareeha’s arms pressing against her. Her strong embrace was comforting and she let some of the tension in her out, slumping over the limbs that held her in place.

Fareeha was quiet when she spoke “I can’t pretend to know exactly what’s going on in your head or in your heart. But I do want you to know that I’m here for you. Anything you need, any time of day, for the next few weeks, I’m here.” She smiled, her tattoo creasing slightly as the lines in her face moved.

“And please, join us for Christmas. No one should be alone then.”

\--

Olivia was entering frantic packing mode. Her case was by the door, Bas trying to bounce his paws off the hard exterior but she was still madly rushing around, picking up minor things like spare headphones and cramming them into any space left. Eventually, she stopped, standing in the lounge and looking around her.

“Okay. I think I have everything”

Moira looked up from her magazine. “Passport?”

Olivia proudly tapped her jacket pocket. And then tapped again. And then, with a worried look on her face began unzipping her coat.

Moira stood up, walked over and pulled it out of Olivia’s jeans pockets. “You have everything, you just don’t know where half of it is.”

The younger woman snatched it from her hand and tapped her on the nose with it “Not fun M, not fun”

Moira sat down on the sofa back, watching Olivia fidgeting slightly with her passport. For the first time in a while, Olivia actually looked tense - one hand running through her hair while the other was checking and then double checking her ticket while trying to avoid looking at Moira.

Eventually, she spoke. “How… how are we doing?”

“What do you mean?” Moira asked.

“I mean... ah hell. What I’m trying to say is I’m sorry for telling Ana about you and Dr Ziegler. I realise that rather than helping I think I just made everything worse.”

Olivia looked up, looking Moira directly in the eyes.

“But you worried me M. I heard the way you talked about her, the little smile you had between the frustrations. In fact, you were terrifying when we burst in on you, I don’t think I’ve ever frozen up in the same way as I did under your gaze. It was like opening the door to find a tiger sat on the bed. So when I saw you leave the next day, alone and in a filthy mood, I knew something was wrong. Ana did always say to give her a call if you didn’t seem right so…”

She looked browbeaten, facing the floor “I guess I just want to see you happy M. That’s all I want.”

For a moment, Moira did nothing. She just looked at Olivia, the usual bluster and confidence taken away, the slightly sarcastic edge removed entirely. This was Olivia at her most raw and it almost hurt to see her like this. Placing one hand gently on her shoulder, Moira pulled her into a hug.

“It's fine Olivia, honestly. And for all my annoyance, I think you made the right call. Even if it did mean I had to spend the last few days communicating via notes and drawings.”

Moira stepped back and pulled a thin package from behind the sofa. “Anyway, before you lock your bag, this is your Christmas present.” Her face grew stern “Do not open until Christmas day. I will know if you do”

Olivia took it, shaking it slightly “Don’t they say not to accept unopened parcels from strangers?” she said, a grin on her face.

“Make an exception. Besides, Genji helped me wrap it so the person next to you on the plane knows what’s in it”

At Genji’s name, Olivia suddenly became quiet. She sat down heavily, still holding the wrapped box in her hands. Moira stopped.

“What’s wrong?”

“Genji. What if it turns out he only likes me in small doses? What if his family dislikes me because I’m… “ She gestured to herself “Me?”

Moira sat down next to her “Olivia. Genji has spent literally months with you in this flat. And as for his family, that’s the risk you take. But better you actually be you than trying to spend the whole trip pretending to be someone you are not”

Olivia smiled.

“Thanks. You know, for someone who claims she doesn’t like interacting with people, you’re pretty good at this pep-talk thing. “

After placing her present in her bag and zipping it shut, she turned back to Moira. “Also while I’m gone, please go to Ana’s on Christmas Day. I don't want to hear you spent it by yourself, your Christmas meal whatever you could find in the freezer.”

Moira laughed. “I’m going, don’t worry about me. Now you need to leave or else you’ll miss your flight”

\--

Christmas Eve came, the threat of snow hanging in the chill air, the lights twinkling in the windows. The day had been quiet, a few final things to do before the big day. Moira had finally dropped a message to Ana, confirming her plans to be there on Christmas day.

Now Moira lay in bed, Bas asleep on the floor next to her, her laptop balanced on her knees. She checked the clock - New Zealand would be waking up soon, maybe Mako would send her one of the usual holiday brain teasers he liked to write. A few idle clicks and she was in her inbox.

**Unread Messages (1)**

There was no subject line but the email address was familiar, a frequent contact up until two years ago.

She paused, just looking at her screen for a long time. But eventually, she clicked.

\--

_ Moira, _

_ I realise this email might be a little unexpected. But Jack and a few other people have been helping me come out of the hole I fell into and made me realise I failed to do so many things.  _

_ This is just me wanting to say I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not being there when I got back, sorry for all the nights I disappeared off with barely a word, coming home just before dawn. I’m sorry for leaving you alone, sorry for forcing you to take care of a dog you didn’t even want. I’m sorry for leaving you a flat full of things that you had to deal with. I’m sorry for never telling you why I left, or where I went to. I’m sorry that I’m still not ready to tell you that, not yet. _

_ I hope you’ve moved on, found someone new that makes you happy. Ana told me about your project when the grant came in and I sincerely wish the best for you in it. _

_ I hope one day we’ll be able to be friends again, how it was at the start. And I hope you don’t blame Jack. It wasn’t his fault I left - I just didn’t want to hurt you and he gave me somewhere to go. He’s a good man, far better than I. One day I hope you’ll be able to meet him properly. _

_ Give Bas a pat on the head from me. I hope you have a Happy Christmas, _

_ Gabriel _

_ \-- _

There was a click as Moira closed the lid of her laptop and placed it to one side, the darkness of the room hiding the tears rolling down her cheeks. She had dreamed of the next time her and Gabe would have talked. How she’d shout and scream and hold him to an explanation. But sat there in the dark, all she felt was a sadness. Without a word, she pulled her duvet over herself and went to sleep, her mind still sending one fact round and round.

He was apologizing to her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Dilara_CC for proof-reading this
> 
> Thanks to Overboard for translation help.


	5. Explanation

December 25th started as most mornings did for Moira - lying in bed, lazily reading through items on her phone, her long fingers swiping up and down the feed. Unlike most days, however, it wasn’t the usual news stories or email bulletins from work she was scanning through. 

Instead, she had a small pile of messages, a mixture of friends, colleagues and students from around the world wishing her a Happy Christmas. She smiled as she moved through them, typing out quick responses and sending back well wishes. Most were simple boilerplate messages but a few stood out to her.

One of these highlights was from Yuna, an email with two attachments. She had gone back to South Korea for her break, meeting up with a group of her high school friends and staying together for the holiday period. The first photo showed them all huddled next to one and other, each wearing their matching jackets that had been made for this trip. Yuna was easy to spot, her stern face being very different from those around her, especially Hana. Yuna had mentioned the gaming star a lot, usually as an excuse for her poor timekeeping, and looking at her now Moira could see why. The younger girl seemed to have wrapped herself around Yuna, a wide grin across her face contrasting the merest hint of a smile on the other.

The second photo was just of the two girls, somewhere up in the mountains. There were surrounded by snow, bundled up in thick coats and huddled together, Yuna leaning in to kiss Hana’s cheek as the other just beamed. At first, she was confused at this rather personal photo being included but then she looked closer, her eyes caught by a golden band around the smiling girl’s finger. The rest of the email was an engagement announcement, the date for the wedding simply listed as “When We’re Ready” Moira could have almost clapped her hands with delight at reading the news, eventually sending a much more professional congratulations as a reply.

Interestingly, there was no message from Lena. Instead, Emily had sent something in her place. Curious, Moira clicked on the attachment, her eyes lighting up when it finished loading. Lena was flat on the floor, what seemed like a small mountain of red-headed children on top of her, many wielding toy swords and shields. In the foreground, Moira recognised Emily, her face moulded into a look of mock horror. She’d written a message in the body of the email.

“As you can see, Lena is a little bit busy at the moment so I thought I’d send you an update. Merry Christmas from her and all the Howett clan. Fingers crossed we can pay the ransom the little brats currently holding her are requesting (chocolate and lots of it!) and free her before term starts again. 

Thank you again for all the help you gave her this year. She talks about you quite fondly whenever you come up and I’d love to meet you when you are next available. I’m sure there are plenty of embarrassing stories you have about her that would be handy to know ;3 

Merry Christmas,

Emily”

\--

Finally reaching inbox zero, Moira was about to put her phone down and start getting ready for the day when it’s ringtone blared out, a giant stylised skull filling the screen as the caller photo. She smiled when it connected, presenting her with Olivia’s grinning face.

“Hola!” Olivia shouted, waving her hand in greeting.  “I’m just about to open my present from you and thought you might want to join in! Assuming I haven’t just woken you up!”

Moira pulled herself upright, drawing her dressing gown around her tighter “Of course not, I’ve been up for hours. Merry Christmas everyone!”

There was a murmur from the background, the phone struggling to pick up the sounds of Genji’s easily recognisable voice along with a much more serious tone.

“Jessie, stop drinking that and say hi to my roommate!” Olivia laughed at his silent response “ _ Dios _ , Genji’s brother has a way of picking them. Right, let's take a look at this,” Carefully, she placed the phone up on a shelf, giving Moira a better view of the room.

From what Moira could see with the limited field of vision Olivia’s phone offered her, the apartment was obviously on the high end, with a pale carpet and a neutral decor. A low table sat in the middle of the floor, Moira’s gift to Olivia the only present left on its mahogany surface. Moira had already recognized the symbols on the carrier bags in the background as shops in Akihabara, Genji and Olivia obviously having saved weight by doing most of their gift buying for each other while in Japan. 

Genji was moving back and forth in the background, carrying placemats and cutlery up to the dining table. He seemed more relaxed then Moira had ever seen him, still chatting with someone in the kitchen. Moira also noticed a figure slouching over the sofa, a cowboy hat resting over his face, a small pile of beer bottles next to him.

In the foreground through, Olivia pulled the wrapping paper off the slim box like a tornado, strips flying left and right. Eventually, though, she was presented with a sleek black box. She froze, her eyes staring at the single line of silver embossed words at the bottom.

Genji had moved up behind Olivia, resting his head on her shoulder. “I think someone just worked out what’s in the box.” he smiled, looking up at the camera.

Olivia was stunned, struggling to speak “You...didn’t…”

Moira, resting her phone on the bed, leaned in closer, a grin across her face “I did. Genji got me your measurements and pulled your latest design from your hard drive. I just got it commissioned and made sure you took it on the plane with you.”

Olivia looked up, staring straight at the camera “Do you know how long I’ve wanted this to be real? How many times I’ve drawn it and dreamed of one day getting someone to make it?”

Carefully, she pulled the bundle from inside the box, watching as the coat unfurled itself. Most of it was a smooth purple fabric, detailing in a lighter shade to help draw the eye while the arms went in a gradient from purple to teal, a sporty pattern breaking up the colour. Up at the top, a silver cowl and collar stood out from the rest of the design, covering her neck. The zip was hidden by a fold, while teal panels at the bottom, inlaid with fine detail, covered part of the lower body. It was like something out of a cyberpunk game, the garb an elite hacker would wear to show off her status while looking like a fever dream in the real world.

Olivia laughed as she unzipped it, he eyes roaming across the patterned interior “You even got my logo on the inside?”

Moira nodded. “You should be proud, the tailor I commissioned was very impressed with the plans you drew up. Said it was like following instructions they’d write for their trainees. He also said to go back to them when you wanted to add the electronics to it. They have some ideas to talk to you about.”

Olivia wasn’t even listening as she delicately bundled the garment in her arms - she had stepped into the jacket, sliding her arms into the sleeves before zipping herself up. Moira had never seen her so happy, obviously trying hard not to jump around with joy. As Genji stepped back, she twirled, the lower portions lifting with her movement.

“I can’t believe you went through all this trouble just for lil ol’ me Moira! This is a freaking dream come true!” 

Moira just smiled at the young girl, watching as she looked at herself, still turning slightly on the spot. Eventually, Olivia reached up and pulled the phone down from its vantage point, pulling it closer to her face. She was beaming like a schoolgirl.

“Okay, first of all, that was way too much money to spend on me. But now I feel a lot better about how much time I spent on your present!” she raised her hand before Moira started talking “I know, I know, you did say ‘you’re a student with no source of income Olivia, you don’t have to buy me a present’. So I didn’t, I made it. Anyway, check your bottom drawer on the other side of the bed.”

Holding the phone up, Moira shuffled around, eventually managing to pull the drawer open. Inside, resting on top of her classical books, was a long box wrapped in purple wrapping paper. Carefully, she picked the paper confines apart, revealing a leather bound box inside. 

She heard Olivia talking as the box was placed “So, I might have bought the box. But I wanted it to be special!”

With a raised eyebrow to the camera, Moira lifted the lid, noticing the silver skull logo laser engraved just above the lock.

Resting on the plush purple interior inside was an arm length glove. Moira recognised the style instantly, matching the one already covering her right limb but this one had a much sleeker tone to its overall design. There was almost a texture to it, barely perceptible until you rolled it in the light. More visible were the silver lines that ran down it on the outside, splitting and fracturing like a lightning bolt along the top of the arm and onto the hands, single lines running down the fingers before splitting further up to the tips.

The phone screen was now full of Olivia’s face looking out as Moira pulled her gift from its container “I may have made some comments to Ana after she showed me the design work she did on your glove. The tech is like 2 years out of date, there have been so many improvements since then and I decided you needed an upgrade. Harder wearing, half the thickness, better sensitivity. I had to add some more sensors to the outside to boost the inputs hence the pattern. But rather than try and hide them I decided to make it stylish. Show it with pride, you know? You’re always one to make a statement with your clothes so why not do it with the thing you wear every day?”

Moira held the gift in her hand for a moment, Olivia’s comment ringing in her ears. Her old glove was utility, designed to hide her injury from the world, a piece of armour against prying eyes. This, this was art. She moved it around her hand some more, watching the silver streaks catch the light, feeling the texture, noticing the lack of seam. It felt complete.

Olivia’s face seemed to droop slightly “If you don’t like it, I’ll take it back and add it to my portfolio pieces...”

Without a word, Moira pulled her old glove off, placing it carefully back on the bedside table. A glance at the phone’s screen showed Olivia watching eagerly as she pulled its replacement up her arm, the characteristic sensation of the circuitry starting to connect to her skin. She flexed her arm and fingers, checking her movement before running a finger across the bed sheet.

It felt… normal. None of the sudden peaks and troughs of feeling the old glove had. None of that delay in touch that it used to suffer from on softer material. Running one hand and then the other over the duvet, she could barely feel the difference.

A smile must have appeared on Moira’s face because Olivia visibly relaxed, her grin returning “Oh good you like it. I’ll tell you more when I get back but all you need to know is that the only thing it cost me was long nights, some tricky problems and most of the PhD lab’s caffeine supply.”

She smirked “You might play with molecules and DNA Doctor but I bend circuits and chips to my whim.  _ Feliz Navidad, _ M!”

Moira looked up at the camera, a kind expression still on her face. “When you get back Olivia I’m going to hug you like you never have been before. This is something I never even knew I needed. You have my thanks.”

Olivia blew a kiss at the screen as the call ended, leaving Moira to stand there gazing at the masterpiece now covering her arm.

\--

It took mere moments after Moira’s car pulled up outside Ana’s suburban house, slowly coming to halt next to the curb, for Reinhardt to appear. He strode across the frozen lawn, a giant red Christmas jumper stretched over his large frame. A red hat was perched on his head which, along with the white beard, gave the impression that he was dressed as a version of Saint Nicholas that spend the rest of the year hitting the gym.

“Merry Christmas Doktor!” he cried, arms outstretched to pull her into a hug, lifting her bodily off the ground. There was nothing Moira could do to get out of this and that was something she had learnt a long time ago. Instead, she just patted his massive arm, mumbling “Merry Christmas”.

Once she was safely back on the ground, Moira took a moment to compose herself, before a small smile appeared on her face. She took a step to the side

“As I was saying when you picked me up, Merry Christmas to you Reinhardt. From both of us.” There was a click and the rear door swung open. With a single bound, Bas leapt from the back seat and landed heavily on Reinhardt’s chest, frantically trying to lick the face above. Squealing like a child, the old man gently rolled himself back onto the cold hard ground, letting the dog pile excitedly on top. For a few minutes, they wrestled, Moira looking on with amusement.

Breathless, Reinhardt eventually worked his way out from the attention of Bas. “Okay  _ Nieder, Nieder _ . Moira, I think you just made Fareeha’s Christmas by bringing him. She’ll be so excited when she gets back.”

“She’s not here?” Moira answered, suddenly realising the absence of the black Land Rover from the driveway that Fareeha used when she was in the country.

“Alas no. She’s currently at the airport waiting for our other guest! They were supposed to arrive yesterday but you know how these things go!” Reinhardt grimaced, holding back a long rant about the state of transportation around Christmas.

Moira raised an eyebrow “Other guest? Fareeha didn’t mention that.”

Reinhardt looked up at her as he lifted himself up, dusting his jumper down “An old friend of mine! I’m sure the two of you will get along juuuuust fine!”

Now standing, he rested one hand on Moira’s shoulder

“It’s good to see you. And I know Ana will want to talk to you before the festivities begin. Why don’t you go inside while I keep Bas entertained? Should give me a chance to speak my mother tongue for one!” He finished with a hearty laugh.

Reinhardt paused, a grin on his face, “Unless you want him as backup of course.”

With a glare, Moira headed inside, leaving Reinhardt chatting amicably to the dog in German, watching as his tail frantically wagged.

\--

Ever since Moira had first met Ana the conservatory in her home always seemed like a special place to her. Despite having settled in rainy and cold England, she couldn’t quite leave the warmth of Egypt behind. One of the first modifications she made to her house was building this long room along the back of it, complete with heating under the floor to keep it at a constant warm temperature, letting her relax in comfort and look out down the length of her garden and out towards the rolling fields in the distance. Wicker furniture sat around the edge of the room, while potted palms added some greenery against the brick walls.

Ana sat on part of a large rug on the floor, her legs crossed beneath her. Her wrinkled hands rested on her knees, palms down and fingers gently pressing on her trousers. Her headscarf was removed, folded neatly into a square, leaving her well-aged silver hair to flow freely down her back. Every bit practical, Ana had never dyed it, instead letting the jet black lighten, ageing gracefully. She looked peaceful, in a way Moira had rarely seen before.

On the other hand, the heat was starting to feel oppressive to Moira. Moving quietly, she carefully pulled her Christmas jumper over her head before placing the wine coloured wool down on one of the chairs. Briefly, she looked at it, the lines of Christmas trees and snowmen intermixed with Erlenmeyer flasks and DNA helices. Fio always did have a habit of finding the perfect knick-knack gifts for her aunt.

“Oh, that is a well-chosen Christmas jumper.” Moira looked back to see Ana had turned her head to gaze at her. She was smiling, her face relaxed, her eyes filled with kindness. A change from the unpleasantness of their previous meeting.

She patted on hand on the rug beside her, “Come, join me.” and watched as Moira crossed the floor, eventually settling herself down in a similar pose.

For a moment, neither of them said anything. They just gazed out at the world outside, the branches moving in the breeze, the clouds of a cold winter's day shifting above them. 

But eventually, Ana broke the silence “Do you remember the first time we sat here? All those years ago. Your piles of printed and stapled notes, trying frantically to sell me on your ideas.”

She laughed “I was going to hire you even before you opened your mouth. I’d spent so long investigating ways to extend the foundation’s work, looking into other aspects of care and rehabilitation. And each and every scientist I talked to warned me away from you. Told me I’d be making a gamble if I even met with that Doctor O’Deorain.”

Ana turned to look at Moira “But I saw it. I saw the spark, the focus behind your ideas. The desire to see it become more than just thoughts on a page. It’s a quality I admire in most people. Even if it can lead you down a dangerous road.”

She turned back to look outside, the clouds starting to grey, threatening more snow. Her tone fell slightly. “We should have talked more. After he left. But especially after your accident.”

“We should talk more full stop.” Moira countered “Conversation with Reinhardt, Lena or Olivia can be convivial but not always what I need.”

There was a pause as Ana considered her words.

“You realise you are basically asking for more meetings, don’t you? Not what I would expect from someone so skilled in ignoring the office side of the job.” Ana answered with a sly grin.

“True.” Moira smiled “But I didn’t specify where they had to take place. Perhaps a more relaxed setting? There is a lovely little cafe just off campus with a server who I know would not at all be intimidated by the presence of her mentors.”

Ana actually laughed, her face lighting up with joy “Remind me to get the calendar appointments sorted. I look forward to our conversations.” She looked down “Would you like to sit somewhere more comfortable? I think I finished my quiet time for today.”

Moira gazed out of the window, eyes still drinking in the details of the scene in front of her “Actually, I think I’d like to stay here for a while. If that’s okay with you?”

Ana smiled again, before settling herself back into position, her back perfectly straight “Of course”

\--

For a long while, the two of them continued to sit quietly, only the occasional discussion or word passing between them. At one point Reinhardt entered a pot of freshly brewed tea and two mugs in his hands, placing them between the two ladies. Ana poured both cups and they sat there, letting the drinks warm their hands.

“So, you liked Olivia’s present?” Ana said, pointing to Moira’s arm.

Moira looked down, rolling it slightly to see neoprene cover catch the light. “Ah yes. What did she say to you about it?”

Ana grumbled “I believe the terms ‘antiquated’ and ‘obsolete’ were used. But I am impressed at how well it seemed to work in testing.” She tilted her head slightly. “The design suits you I think”

They were suddenly interrupted by the sound of a car pulling up around the front of the house before the closing of doors and voices rang out around the building.

“Ah, that will be our guest. You know, Reinhardt has not actually told me who it is that is coming. Only that she was flying back today” Ana frowned “Actually both he and Fareeha have been very quiet about who it was.”

They heard the sound of people moving through the house, of bags being placed down. Bas started barking excitedly at the new arrival, only stopping when she spoke him.

Moira froze. An old friend of Reinhardt. Speaks German, likes dogs. She heard the tone of voice again as she moved closer, talking to Fareeha about the madness of flying at Christmas. It sung to her, just as it had back at the park. For a moment Moira looked at Ana, seeing an expression of surprise appear on her face, before focusing on the doorway just as her former lab partner entered.

“So I guess you’re just dogsitting Bas what with Moira… going to...Ire…” Angela stopped speaking as she entered the conservatory, her blue eyes immediately moving to look directly down at Moira’s kneeling form.

Moira looked back up at her, taking in all the details. Angela’s blonde hair had obviously been under a hat before she got in, her usually perfect shape tweaked slightly. She had on a white Christmas jumper over her jeans, the wool decorated with blue stars and Christmas tree outlines. Apart from the look of surprise on her face, she seemed well. But Moira could see in the way she moved she was as nervous as she was.

“Uh… Merry Christmas Dr Ziegler” Moira uttered calmly.

\--

For a passing moment, no one said anything else. All of them just stood in place, as still as statues by the suddenness of the entire situation. Even Ana, usually quick to respond to any problems at hand, now simply sat there, watching the pair, not wishing to inflame the situation any further.

But then Reinhardt reappeared. He swept into the middle of them like a demented circus master, pulling Angela into the room with him until they were standing over the pair sat on the rug.

“Surprise! I thought you two would want to see each other again. And what better day than Christmas, a time of miracles!” He smiled. “A chance for the two of you to just sit and talk, no time pressure, no demands of work!”

Angela was the first to talk “You planned this?” she said, looking at Reinhardt’s smiling face.

“Of course!” He beamed “I could hardly let two of my friends be unhappy, could I? And if the two of you were not going to try and fix this yourselves, I thought a gentle push would be helpful!”

“We’ll let the two of you talk. The meal isn’t until the evening so feel free to take all the time you need.” He stretched out a large hand towards Ana “Now dear, let us leave them to it.”

Serenely, Ana took his hand and let him pull her to her feet. Moira and Angela could hear her and Reinhardt talking as they walked away “You know how much I love it when you manage to secretly plan things behind my back  _ Habib AlbiI. _ ”

Reinhardt chuckled as he closed the conservatory doors, the last bits of their conversation echoing as they left “Ana behave, we have guests!”

\--

Left alone, Moira and Angela simply stared at each other, neither one willing to make the first move. Moira was the first to break the silence

“Dr Ziegler, would you like to join me on the floor? It’s quite relaxing.”

Angela smiled as she stepped forward, gracefully lowering herself into place, following the other woman’s crossed leg stance.

“Please Moira, I think we’re past the stage where you can’t call me by my first name.”

Sitting there, Angela beside her, Moira started to feel her heart begin to race. This feeling wasn’t helped when Angela started to peel off her Christmas jumper, Moira’s eyes following it as it was slowly pulled up her curves, the way it messed up that golden hair as it rode over her head.

“Angela, I wanted to apologise for-” Moira started but Angela interrupted, raising a hand to quiet her. 

“Stop Moira. If anyone needs to apologise it’s me. I woke up in the morning, your arm draped over me and I just broke. Everything I’d built up here, my brain just started worrying about it. The idea I’d found someone, someone who cared like you? It was overwhelming. So I needed a break.”

Angela turned back to look out the window “I went home for a bit. Sorted out a few legal things that had been waiting to be finished, collected some of my personal effects I’d left with the army.” She paused. “I went to go see the family. The graveyard is always so beautiful this time of year - it... always helps me to think.”

She looked back at Moira. “Don’t be mad but I also did some digging of my own. I wanted to understand some of the things you said. I asked everyone - Ana, Lena, Fareeha. I even… I even got in contact with Ana’s friend Jack and even Gabriel...”

Moira felt herself look up at the ceiling, hiding her hurt at hearing his name behind a response “Of course you did” she said, a tone of annoyance creeping into her voice.

Before she could move, Moira suddenly felt a hand on her arm, the sensations popping along her skin as those delicate fingers touched the new material of her glove. She felt the breath hitch in her throat as Angela gazed into her eyes.

“He told me to talk to you. He said only you could tell me how it happened. He just told me a few bits, a few things you wouldn’t know. But he told me to ask you, let you explain it.”

Angela shifted in place, turning herself to face Moira. Her face was pleading. But despite all of this, Moira couldn’t take her mind off the fact she was touching her, holding her hand between her own. The glove could feel her every micro-movement, every twitch as if she was touching her skin.

She looked up at Moira, her blue eyes meeting the mismatched pair above. “Please Moira, I just want to understand. Help me”

With a sigh, Moira started the story she had waited for so long to tell.

\--

“I met Gabriel when I first came here. Ana had set up the foundation initially to work in prosthetics, to widen the options for people like Fareeha after her incident. But she was always wanting to look into more long-term solutions, even the possibility of full limb regrowth. “

“Now you have to understand before Ana contacted me, my name had become dirt. Too much focus on getting results. Dangerous to know and worse to work with. But despite that, she was interested in my work, in the molecular regeneration thesis I had written while I was at King’s College. In fact, she was the only one interested in my ideas. I guess a mother will do anything to help her daughter.”

“After a flurry of emails, I was invited up to the Foundation on a weekend to talk. In fact, we sat just here, sharing cups of tea as I outlined the concept to her. And then..,”

Moira looked up at the large patio doors, a smile appearing on her lips as the memory appeared in her mind's eye.

“He appeared. Back from a walk with Fareeha, joking around with her, even as she still had her arm in a sling. And it was instant, the attraction you read about in stories but you know it can’t be real. After Ana and I finished our discussion, he offered to give me a ride back to the station seeing as it was on the way to where he was based. We talked in the car and it was all just so easy. I almost missed my train back to London, too busy chatting about life and films and everything in the passenger seat of his car. We kept in touch, kept texting and emails and video conferencing so when I took Ana’s offer and moved here, he just slotted into my life as if he’d always been there. We rented a flat together, hardwood floors and giant windows with a view out over the park. I had never been quite so happy as I was for those first few years.”

Moira dabbed at her eye with a thumb, trying not to break her composure before continuing.

“Of course, I knew he was still on active duty. He’d told me the stories and shown me the pictures of him out on operations. Some of his experiences actually helped me with the first steps of my project. And when he was deployed, I just threw myself into my work. We’d chat when he was free, send each other things, care packages one way and packs of polaroids he’d take the other. He’d always come back and it was like nothing had changed, fitting back into life as if he’d never left. We even started suggesting that we should purchase a house together”

“But on his last tour, something in him seemed to snap. The phone calls and chats were fine, a little shorter than usual but it was mainly because he seemed… exasperated, and I…” She paused “I was so busy with work. And when he got home he seemed out of sorts. Complained about the bed when he was trying to sleep, started keeping strange hours and vanishing into the night. He brought Bas home one day after some advice from a friend and it helped for a while. But he just kept slipping. I tried so hard to be there for him but I was never sure if I was helping or hurting”

“And then one day he mentioned an old friend was coming to town. By the time I got home that night, ready to meet up with them, all I found was a cold and quiet flat, Bas just sitting there in the middle of the room. And that note. That  _ damned  _ note.”

Moira continued “I tried to reach out, asked Ana to get in contact and was immediately shut down. Gabriel didn’t want to talk to me was what she said. I was… I was so many things. Angry, hurt, miserable. I spent days trying to think about what I should have done, things I should have tried, the one problem I couldn’t solve.”

“I became irritable, living in the same flat we had shared, every corner still packed with memories of him. Walking the same streets, remembering all the times we had together. My work started to suffer, I could feel myself getting sloppy, wasting valuable time, and then...” She raised her arm.

“Fareeha was the one who found me. Coming to visit after she got back from a job. She spotted me on the floor going into shock, my arm blistered and discoloured. If I hadn’t told her about the chemical shower, if she hadn’t managed to drag me in there…” Moira paused to take a breath.

“She helped me out, with all of the practical things. Found me a new place to live in, helped move my stuff over while I was still in the hospital, took care of Bas. Ana was beside herself, angry at me but mostly at herself for not having seen the signs, terrified she’d pushed me too far. I think that’s why she took over my mentoring roles personally rather than assigning it to someone else, why she developed the glove in her own time. And Reinhardt… he was there while I was unconscious, watching over me, keeping me safe. Even once I woke up, he seemed to spend all his time in my hospital room, helping to keep me entertained as I recovered.”

Now Moira was trying to hold it together, her eyes starting to water “I got rid of so much to try and make the pain go away. The flat, the pictures, all of it out of sight and out of mind. The only things of his I couldn’t give up was a box of his clothes that I had discovered mispacked amongst my own and Bas. I started from scratch, inviting Olivia to move in after Ana introduced us to keep an eye on me and returned to my work. I made friends, restarted my mentoring and slowly it began to feel better. ”

Moira looked up at Angela “And then you showed up and I had the same feelings as the first time I sat here. No, not the same, stronger, terrifyingly so. The same glorious joy at seeing another human that I found myself loving but turned up to 100. And it scared me. And the more I got to know you the more it reminded me, the dark spectre on my shoulder ticking down to when it would all go wrong. And it did, with another note left for me to find.”

\--

Angela had been very quiet, barely daring to move as Moira told her story. Her face reacted as she listened, sliding between moments of joy, of sadness and then a moment of horror as she mentioned the note. She let Moira finish, let her take the deep breaths she needed and wipe her eyes before she spoke.

“I know why Gabe left.” 

Moira looked up, watching her face. Angela continued.

“Jack told me what happened when he visited, a discussion over coffee was all he needed to see it. Gabe was eventually going to leave, wanted to leave, because he knew he wasn’t just slipping. he was slipped. He could feel the timer running out and he didn’t want you to be the one to find him when it hit zero.”

She paused again, letting Moira digest what she had said, terrified eyes looking back at her as the meaning finally ticked over

“Jack has some friends who help with situations like this, ended up packing him a bag and got him onto a plane back to the States. He wanted to tell you, to call you and say exactly what was happening but Gabe wouldn’t let him. He was... ashamed at what he’d been close to doing that he couldn’t bear the idea of you knowing, couldn’t stand the idea of disappointing you. That’s why he cut off contact.”

Now Angela shuffled forward, crouching low in front of Moira’s hunched form and took her gloved hand in her own. Moira looked up, tears sitting at the edge of her eyes.

“None of it was your fault. So please, stop telling yourself you don’t deserve to be happy because of it. He decided he had to leave and it was nothing to do with anything you’d done.”

Moira interrupted “But I left him alone, I made him feel like he had to leave so I wouldn’t find him...”

Angela smiled at her “Come on Moira. You couldn’t control everything about him. That’s not how people work.”

Moira sat there, her mind running around in circles.

She felt a tap on her arm. Angela had stood up, smiling down at her “I realise it’s a lot to take in, to get off your shoulders and you were so brave to finally say it. Ana will probably be making some tea, I’ll go get us some. But I’ll be back”

\--

For the moment, she was alone again. Sat on the floor, watching the winter's day outside.

Moira felt it. The first chink in her armour falling. The first part of the cage she’d assembled for herself for all these years slowly starting to break. The relief of finally telling someone everything she had been through. Not just elements of it but the whole thing. It almost made her almost laugh in relief.

She looked up as Angela re-entered, two cups of steaming hot tea, the sweet aroma drifting through the room. The blonde smiled as she got closer, placing them down on the coffee table before sliding her bag off her back.

“I don’t know what we were planning to do this afternoon but I was wondering if you wanted to talk about work, do some planning on what we should do when we restart work in the new year? I realise it’s not the most festive way to spend the day and I understand if you’d prefer to join Fareeha on the walk or just do nothing and have an afternoon off or...”

Moira placed her hand on Angela’s, feeling the warmth from the drink and smiling as she slowly stopped speaking. “It’s not like you to babble Doctor Ziegler. But I think it’s an excellent idea.”

\--

“You spent your afternoon working? On Christmas?”

Fareeha fixed them with a bemused look, momentarily distracted from playing with Bas as she looked at the pair of doctors sat up on the sofa

Moira looked back at her smiling as she felt Angela's hand tighten on hers. She responded, letting her amusement enter her voice.

“Well, we do have a lot of stuff to catch up on. We are a critical stage in our work after all.”

Angela joined in “And my time in Switzerland revealed some exciting possibilities worth investigating”

Fareeha sighed “But it's Christmas!”

Ana entered, a dish of roast potatoes in her hand, breezily entering the conversation.

“And as their employer, I am very happy at their dedication to the project. Also,  _ habbi _ , leave them alone. Or I'll start asking you questions about Satya.”

Fareeha looked up at the ceiling with embarrassment.

“Mother, you know there is nothing to tell. We’re just two ladies with a shared interest in the practical application of prosthetics.”

Ana fixed her with a glare

“And the phone call at 6 am today was just a thing that friends do? Oh child, to be as naive as you. Also, stop playing with the dog and help me set the table.”

Fareeha sighed, not wanting to risk voicing her thoughts, but dutifully stood up and headed to the kitchen, Bas following her before halting at the kitchen door.

She turned to face the two doctors. “Now, can I sit you two next to each other at the table? Or would you prefer to be opposite so you can stare daggers across the turkey?”

Moira looked down at Angela, a smile on her face.

Angela answered “Next to each other I think”

\--

The trio of hosts had waved them off at the front door, watching from across the lawns as the pair climbed into Moira's car. After helping Bas get settled himself across the back seat, Moira turned to her passenger.

“So, where am I taking you now? Presumably, you haven’t been home since you flew back in”

Angela looked back at Moira, staring up into her eyes as the internal light dimmed. They seemed to glow in the darkness, a smile on her face. Moira understood that smile.

“Or would you like to come back to mine? No point spending your first night back in the UK all alone.”

Angela’s smile widened “I think I would Doctor O’Deorain. After all, I think we have some unfinished business to attend to.”

\--

Bas was asleep, curled up on his bed beside her door. Angela’s bandages had been replaced, the task performed to a background noise of wide-ranging conversation. Moira had talked about her family, about Colm and young Fio and Da. About the forests and hills, she had grown up around, about tales of her home. Angela talked about the mountains and lakes, about dusty plains and cities of tents in the desert. They sipped their fizzy water, enjoying the coolness after the blazing heat of Ana’s house.

And now they were sat, back in that same bed on the same sides they had been. The difference this time was that Angela had bought her own clothes to sleep in, rather than a borrowed t-shirt. Moira loved the feel of her top from her new glove, the sensors replicating the feel of silk so perfectly she could have cried, like a blind man who could finally see.

The conversation had slowed when Angela finally brought up the topic that had been gnawing at her since they had arrived.

“You asked me, the last time we were here, how I could know that you deserve every happiness in the world? I think I can tell you now”

Moira looked down at her, watching as she worked her way through a list of thoughts in her head. She put out her hand and Angela gripped it as she started to speak.

“Ana told me about how you work. Your drive, your dedication to fulfilling your goals. The sheer bloody-mindedness that got this project of yours off the ground. Your resourcefulness in working around problems you don’t have time to solve.”

“Fareeha enthused about your skills. About how she used to watch you work, the way you almost danced around the lab once you were in your flow” Angela smiled “I know some of that myself”

“Reinhardt told me about how you entertain. How you put up with the ramblings of a retired military man, a stranger to these lands, and introduced him to everyone you knew when he first arrived. About how often you are happy to go for a drink with him and just talk.”

“Olivia told me about your patience. About how you put up with her jokes and jibes. How you managed to live with her despite how different you can be. About how you didn't try to push her out when Ana recommended she live with you; you simply adapted and then thrived with her“

“Lena told me about your kindness. The way you treated her when you were first introduced, when she came into your office as an undergraduate with not much more than the clothes on her back and a mind ready to learn. She remembers when you returned after your accident, how your focus remained on her and achieving her goals despite the pain you were in.”

“Yuna told me how being mentored by you is currently an absolute nightmare. About how you manage to get her feedback before she’s even started relaxing after sending you her work. About how you’ve hounded her when work has been slow. And she wouldn’t have it any other way - she sees what you are doing and knows how it will help in the end.”

“Gabe.” She paused, watching Moira’s face, making sure she wasn’t crossing a line. For a moment Moira felt herself begin to frown but the feeling of Angela beside her killed that action before it even begun “Gabe told me about the first night he got back from the first deployment you were together for. You didn’t throw him a party, inviting all your friends. You didn’t even take him out to a fancy restaurant. You just brought him home, cooked him his favourite meal and let him relax at his own pace. I can understand why that was so important for him”

“And Bas?” She smiled. “Bas told me nothing I didn’t already know. About how you can care for something you didn’t even want, learn to love and cherish it.”

Angela held her tighter. “Moira, I can’t promise I won’t have bad days. I can’t promise that I’ll ever be able to stop arguing with you. But what I can promise is that I have never felt about anyone else the way I feel about you. Never.”

Her hand left Moira’s, instead moving up to her face “I haven’t stopped thinking about that night, about how it felt to be next to you. I want to be with you, forever. I want to be the one that says hello to you in the morning and goodnight at the end of the day. I want to be the one you come to when it’s all too much and I want to run to you when I just can’t take it anymore. We’re both broken, both torn up in so many ways but I feel whole when I’m with you. For the first time, I don’t feel alone.”

She sniffed, her voice wavering slightly “And if you don’t feel the same way, I’ll understand. I’ll leave, I’ll go back to Switzerland and you’ll never have to see me again. But if you do, even in a small way, want to be with me.. “ she trailed off.

Moira simply smiled at her, laying a delicate kiss on her forehead before pulling her in closer. “Angela, I was yours since the moment I met you”

And with that, she turned off the light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Dilara_CC for proof-reading this
> 
> and Merry Christmas to all!


	6. Phase 2

_One Year and 6 Days Later_  
  
“You're pacing again Miss Lee.”  
  
Yuna stopped herself. She stood still in front of Moira, letting herself breathe as she smoothed down the front of her suit jacket.  
  
“Sorry, Dr O'Deorain. I'm just a little nervous.”  
  
Moira straightened herself up in the leather chair, a gentle smile on her face.  
  
“Don't be. This isn't the first time most of us met her.”  
  
Yuna breathed out, slowly calming herself “Yes, but being awarded my undergraduate is very different from a new year's party. One's formal and the other…”  
  
“The other is a small gathering of friends and colleagues that I'm sure she is going to enchant. Besides, I can't see her doing anything more embarrassing than what Lena did to my tie,” she answered, grimacing slightly as she looked down at her open collar.  
  
Yuna raised an eyebrow. But before Moira could describe the event that caused her to leave the party briefly, the lift chimed, the doors sliding open.  
  
Moira smiled as she stood up, watching her former student out of the corner of her eye. Yuna seemed speechless, her eyes wide as she watched her fiance cross the hall to her, that trademark smile across her face.  
  
She was wearing a smart, black dress. Simple, refined, elegant, a far cry from the white jacket and jumpsuit covered in sponsor logos she usually wore. Small black heels clicked as she walked towards them, designed to stun without being impractical. Her main adornment was a small silver charm around her neck, it’s shape the familiar grinning rabbit head that sold out stadiums worldwide. That and the gold ring on her finger, an infinitely more personal item.  
  
Her voice was smooth, missing some of the childish glee that she ramped up for the character of D.Va. “Well? Are you going to introduce us Yuna?” Hana said.  
  
Yuna coughed “Ah, yes. This is Doctor O'Deorain, one of my tutors. She was away for my presentation due to her work, so you missed meeting her. Doctor this is Hana Song.”  
  
Watching the taller woman careful, Hana leaned across to Yuna and whispered something in Korean.  
  
_“Is this the one you referred to as the witch? Because I can see why.”_  
  
Yuna eyes widened again, flicking from her partner to her mentor in shock. But before she could say anything, Moira responded, her tongue struggling slightly around the language but still plain to understand.  
  
_“Well, you know what they say about advanced technology being indistinguishable from magic.”_  
  
Hana stopped a blank expression on her face. For a moment, she stared back at Moira’s satisfied smirk and then started laughing.  
  
“Yuna didn't tell me you spoke Korean.”  
  
“It has been a recent addition to my skills, I’m still working on it. After all, it would be a little rude if I attended someone's wedding and couldn’t give them my best in their own language” Moira replied  
  
Hana nodded “It would. Yuna also never mentioned you had a sense of humour, I had just assumed you were some dry academic talking about theories and evidence. Hmm, we’ll have to think about that when it comes to planning the seating, I’m sure Casino would enjoy a war of words with you.”  
  
The smile returned as she nudged Yuna. “Now where is this party I was invited to Miss Lee. I stepped off a plane from Shanghai an hour ago, I’m running on about four hours of sleep, but I’m still ready to mingle” Taking Yuna’s arm, the pair led the way with Moira bringing up the rear as they walked into the penthouse.  
  
\--  
  
As much as Ana liked hosting parties, she and Reinhardt had learnt their lesson about Christmas and New Years events after the first two tries. This time they had rented the top floor of the local hotel, four penthouse suites that interconnected, giving them a massive space but still with somewhere to retire to at the end of the night. They’d also invited enough people to fill it, so when Moira reentered the party, there were plenty of partygoers enjoying the final few hours of the year.  
  
Letting the Korean couple head off, Yuna taking the lead, Moira returned to the bar and ordered a drink. The appearance of Reinhardt next to her was something she felt rather than saw. He seemed excited.  
  
“Why did no one tell me that Yuna was dating D.Va?”  
  
“Engaged actually.” She paused “And how exactly do you know who D.Va is Rein?”  
  
He shrugged “I’m an old man, married to a workaholic, who enjoys leaving the TV on while he naps and keeps paying too much for satellite. Sometimes you end up watching unusual things. Like eSports.” He craned his neck “I wonder if it would be too rude to ask for an autograph.”  
  
Moira laughed, taking a sip of her whiskey. “Maybe wait for tomorrow, she and Yuna booked one of the suites for them to stay at so she’ll be hanging around for a few days. I’m sure she’ll be more than happy to sign whatever you put in front of her.”  
  
Reinhardt clapped her on the back “Anyway, how are you enjoying the party Doctor? Surely a nice break from all that work.”  
  
Moira considered “It’s a nice break. Will be even nicer once we get approval for live trial.”  
  
This prompted a laugh “Get approval? I heard your first trial went perfectly!” he leaned in conspiratorially “Or should I not mention that to the ethics board?  
  
He smiled before resting a giant paw on her shoulder “You do know we all understand if you’d prefer not to see him tonight.”  
  
Moira smoothed down her jacket. “No, I want to get this done. It would be nice to catch up, maybe start becoming friends again.”  
  
\--  
  
Olivia caught her just as Reinhardt left. As always she was wearing her beloved jacket, but Moira had to admit, it looked good worn open over the purple dress she had on underneath.  
  
“Lena wants you to know she’s very sorry about your tie. But you have to admit, the look on her face as it went sailing off the building was priceless” Olivia grinned, enjoying image rattling around in her brain.  
  
Moira tried to remain stern for a while, but she couldn’t do it. The look on Olivia’s face was just too much.  
  
“I haven’t the heart to tell her that was one of my worst ties. I’ve wanted to get rid of it for so long. Anyway, how is the evening treating you, former flatmate of mine?”  
  
Olivia rested her back on the bar “Well, I had a fascinating conversation with Fareeha’s rather intense girlfriend about the way robotics is affecting architecture, Lena and Genji appear to have started organising a weekly basketball session with various people here and after a serious round of shots, I think I’ve made it that my forced partnership with Professor Lindholm’s daughter will not end with the two of us killing each other.”  
  
Moira laughed “Well just remember she’s also Reinhardt’s goddaughter so Ana will get involved if you two don’t get along.”  
  
Olivia smiled “I am well aware of that fact! Who do you think kept the shots coming? Those hands can hold whole racks of Jaeger.”  
  
Suddenly, she looked down at Moira’s arm, a sly smile appearing across her face. “Such a wonderful design.” Oliva grinned, reaching out and gripping Moira’s wrist. “What beautiful and intelligent craftsman must have created it?”  
  
Moira looked at the glove she had chosen for this evening. It seemed that Olivia’s work on that first glove had uncovered a well of creativity in her. She seemed to enjoy crafting new patterns and designs for Moira to wear, improving the utilitarian neoprene into much more beautiful combinations of leather and circuitry. And Moira loved receiving these items, fitting them into her wardrobe as if they were another accessory like cufflinks or a tie, a new way to express herself. Tonight’s design was two layers, the functional sensor-filled lower covered with a soft leather upper that ran along her forearm. Silver strips, tinged with the hint of purple and yellow, ran like a lighting bolt across this panel adding a touch of colour that had matched with her tie until it’s unfortunate demise.  
  
Olivia slid in next to Moira resting her head on the taller woman's shoulder. “I missed you M. It’s nice having Genji living with me, and having your big bedroom, a dedicated workshop, not having you singing in the shower at 6 am, but I did always love seeing you every day.”  
  
Moira side eyed her. “Oh come on, you really miss Bas don’t you?”  
  
Olivia shrugged “Just a little bit. Okay, a lot. Sooba is cute, but it’s hard to play fetch with a cat. On the other hand, I haven’t had to chase her around the flat to recover Genji’s arm yet so positives and negatives.”  
  
She sighed looking up at the taller woman “I’m really glad to see you happy.”  
  
Moira opened her arms, and Olivia took the opportunity for a hug, pulling herself tightly against Moira’s thin frame. Resting her head on Olivia’s, Moira ran a hand through her hair, feeling the contrast between the two parts through her gloved hand.  
  
“I wouldn’t be happy without you Liv, and you know that,” Moira said, a smile on her face.  
  
\--  
  
A few drinks later, Moira found herself standing by one of the wall height windows, looking out over the city below. A few scattered fireworks were already being set off, the sparks of green and blue seeming to paint the pale walls around her with light. She continued nursing her drink, the smoothness of the whisky helping to calm her.  
  
Why had she agreed to this? It had made sense before - Ana always wanted to invite Gabe and Jack back, and this was a place where they were surrounded by friends. But part of her was worried. Maybe they should have just met for coffee? Maybe they should have met in the park for a casual chat rather than glamming up and meeting here.  
  
She ran a hand through her hair. Maybe they shouldn’t meet up at all.  
  
“Dr O’Deorain I presume” a voice echoed from behind her.  
  
Moira turned away from the window, leaving the view over the city behind. A man had appeared beside her. Short blonde hair flecked with grey, he stood slightly shorter than her, the bottle of beer in his hand a contrast to the fine suit he was wearing. That voice was all American though, and the way he held himself screamed ex-military.  
  
She turned to face him “You presume correctly. I guess you’re Jack.”  
  
He laughed. “Jack Morrison, guilty as charged. Ana told me I’d find you here.”  
  
“Is Gabe here yet?” Moira asked, warily.  
  
A nod “He is. Talking with your Angela out on the balcony. I swear he’s been sending her messages the past few months like they are old college buddies. Although most of them do seem to be about your dog.”  
  
Moira smiled “Bas does seem to have a habit of capturing people’s hearts.”  
  
“By the sounds of it that makes two of you. It feels so long ago that Gabe was describing the pretty lab rat he’d met at Ana’s.” Jack grinned.  
  
Moira smiled at Gabe’s pet name for her, but then looked down, her face suddenly stern.  
  
“How is he doing? Anything I should know before I talk to him?”  
  
Jack smiled gently. “He’s doing better. There are still bad days and sleepless nights. Got himself a job teaching at the local high school - PE and drama which is an interesting combination. Being around the kids gives him a reason to take care of himself up here” He tapped his forehead.  
  
“And you and he are...?” Moira asked.  
  
Jack nodded.“Very much so. One of those long relationships, the type of thing you read novels about. Thrown together when we were young, it took a while for us to both realise that we actually did like each other that way. At the time, we were too busy. And then we got back, changed units and drifted apart. But the love was still there.”  
  
He turned to face her. “Listen, I’m sorry for not telling you everything. But Gabe was serious about not giving you the details, not worrying you about something you couldn’t fix. I agreed with him, right up until Ana told us about your accident.“ Jack looked concerned. “He felt guilty when he heard what happened, causing him to slip again. But I held him on the straight and narrow.”  
  
Jack leant on the glass, now gazing out into the darkness, his reflection distorted by the moisture on the outside.  
  
“Everything I did was to help him. But in my haste, my focus on him, I ended up hurting you...”  
  
He turned to face her, sorrow evident in his eyes.  
  
“Can you even begin to forgive me?”  
  
Moira thought about it for a while.  
  
She thought about the nights spent crying after Gabe had left.  
  
She thought about the constant worries in the back of her head, the memories brought up by the smallest thing.  
  
She thought about her arm, and all that had happened because of that moment of distraction.  
  
The crowd cleared slightly, giving Moira an unobstructed view out to the balcony. There was a pair of figures standing out there, leaning on the railing. Gabriel was easy to spot - close-cropped hair over a dark face, neatly trimmed beard around a mouth of smiling white teeth. He looked healthier than he had been when she last saw him, the glow that had vanished from him the last time he got back from deployment now returned.  
  
But it was the person next to him that seemed to clear her mind. Angela was stunning as always, her hair up on the top of her head in a decorative bun. She was wearing a backless dress, something she’d wanted to do since they had repaired the burns and scar tissue around her wound. True, it was bending the scientific process, administering experimental medical solutions before testing, but neither of them had been worried about it. Now her back was healed, the metal work hidden under the flesh. In its place was a pair of wings, outlines tattooed in black exactly where the burns had been, a reminder of her trials without the pain or constant treatment required. She saw Moira looking at her and flashed that golden smile.  
  
Moira’s stream of thoughts changed.  
  
She thought about that fateful September day, meeting the love of her life in the park.  
  
She thought about the Christmas party, how she’d loosened the armour she’d built around herself.  
  
She thought about Boxing Day, waking up in the arms of the woman she loved as she whispered sweet nothings into her ear.  
  
She thought about the last year, the joy of working alongside someone who just clicked with her.  
  
She thought about the warmth slowly working its way through her just at the sight of her beloved laughing. The way she felt whole, the worries of her life pushed far into the distance.  
  
She thought about the small box sat in her office drawer, and it’s matching partner she had discovered when she was trying to find a pen in Angela’s desk.  
  
Moira turned to face him, a smile on her face. “I think I can.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it, the story is finished. I hope you all liked it!
> 
> I can't express how happy am to release it, how happy to see all your feedback. This story has been so much work for me, such much emotion poured into it.
> 
> I'm also excited as to what's happening next. I've started working with a writing partner on some upcoming stories and I want to tell many more. The weekly schedule has been fun but I think it's time for a slow down - I want to focus on quality rather than quantity. So don't worry if I miss a week or two, I'm working on some exciting things.
> 
> \---
> 
> Thanks to Dilara_CC for proof-reading this

**Author's Note:**

> If you like this work, I love hearing your comments - I'll always try and respond! Alternatively, drop me an email at odeorainfan2150@gmail.com
> 
> Follow me on twitter at https://twitter.com/deorainfan2150 for news on what I'm working on next.
> 
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